A Son Who Easily Cries
My 8-year-old son easily cries over very simple things like broken toys, small scratches or when he gets teased by his siblings. He does this at home and any other places, like he cannot control it. We feel that he might be embarrassing himself when he does this. How can we address this?
Some children are very sensitive, and it can be a very good thing. I have a son who did not like me to play very low notes on the piano when he was young. He was and always has been my most sensitive child (he is 19 years old now).
This son is also the most sensitive to all of his family members. He is careful to keep peace and will always be the first to offer to help. If I ask him to do something, he does it cheerfully (unlike my other son who has a much stronger temperament and balks at just about everything).
My 19 year old is the sweetest college student you've ever seen. Just yesterday he had an opportunity to go to a meeting at the 4 year University he wants to transfer to next year. He had never been on that campus, and the campus is very large. My husband arranged for him to meet up with a successful business owner in the area, who had graduated from this University many years ago.
My son was so very excited for the opportunity to actually get to tour the campus with an alumni. But here's what I want you to see... My son sent this person a note which started like this... "Words cannot express how very thankful I am that you are willing to take time out of your personal schedule to meet with me and show me around campus..." The person who was meeting with him was very impressed with the note, as my son probably showed more sincere (from the heart) gratitude then most typical 19 year olds would.
Your son probably has this gift as well (and it is a gift). To be able to experience things deeply and express them deeply too. Please don't stifle this or tease him about it, and be sure that you talk to your other children about it too.
The world needs more men who are sensitive and caring. The fact that your son cries over broken toys or small scratches indicates that he values things on a deep level. He cares deeply. Some day, his wife and children will greatly appreciate this in him.
Please make sure that your whole family understands the 4 different personalities and see if you can figure out which personality fits each person in your family. There may be 2 personalities that a person exhibits, but usually one is more dominant than the other.
Feel free to post back here if you'd like to discuss it more. I'll be curious to find out which personality you think each person in your family has.
And to answer your question about how to address your son's ability to show his emotions... I would just give him a hug and let him know that you are sorry.
I am so touched at how you made me understand that it is a gift why my son behaves this way. He really is a sensitive boy but truly is the sweetest!
I thought I'd add that my 19 year old son (who is the most sensitive in the family) took on a part time job at the preschool where our oldest daughter works. This will not be the line of work he will be going into after he graduates, but the preschool is on campus and works with his school schedule. It's an ideal situation for him. The teachers LOVE having him in their classroom, and so do the children. He is so caring and loves to play with the children. His caring temperament benefits him well in that job.
Thank you for sharing this. Your son sounds really caring and sweet. hope my son grows up to be like him too.
I'm so glad that you have had some reassuring advice from Kate.
Sometimes just sharing our experiences as mums and dads can help others.
Everyone is different and I agree that sensitivity is a beautiful quality to have. Whilst my son is only two I am already aware that he is more sensitive that his peers. He is wonderfully intune with others - unlike most toddlers he loves to share and he has shown little sibling rivalry (he can often be seen stroking his younger brother on the head).
Is your son able to communicate how he has been feeling after he gets upset? Perhaps it would help him to talk through stories about characters who feel sad/ upset/ angry at different times - it is normal and ok to feel like this at times.
Best wishes to you and your son,