Blended family bonding
Because things are a little rocky with my stepson and I right now, my hubby and I worry that having a new baby will send him over the edge. Do any of you more experiences mumís have advice for how to make him feel more included in our family both before and after we add another little one?
I think you are doing the right thing in thinking ahead and thinking how your stepson will manage with the changes ahead. You sound like a very caring family.
What is important here is that your stepson knows he is absolutely loved and valued and a new baby does not take away any of this. Have you started talking to him about having a new brother or sister in the future? There are some excellent books out there which can prepare children of all ages for a new sibling. It can be a confusing time for any child and I would let him know that it is ok to feel a range of emotions and to express them to you. Books, drawing pictures together and stories can really help as well as talking about friends/ family who have had a new baby in their family.
Are you able to plan a special time with him each week where, perhaps, he can choose a activity to do with you and your husband he particularly enjoys. It could be watching his favourite film, going for a milkshake together, or a bike ride he really likes. Protecting this time (from the demands of weekly family life) will help him to know how valued he is and it is something which can be continued once a new baby arrives.
Spending quiet time enjoying books with your stepson each day has also been shown to aid bonding.
May I ask if there is a particular reason why things are a bit rocky at the moment? This may help me to answer your question more fully.
With warm wishes,