Loss :(

Recently last March I have lost a baby. I was 13 weeks, but I was told the baby died when it was 9 weeks old. I since then had another wonderful baby boy. Yet still to this day, it still haunts me in the fact that why did that baby pass. What I am wondering is how is the graving process going to continue? I still feel as if it is my fault that I have lost my baby. This happened a year ago.

First, it is not your fault. Miscarriages happen for many reasons, many of which are never known. It is highly unlikely that you did anything to cause yourself this pain. Do not blame yourself.

I have had two miscarriages. It will always hurt, but the pain does get more bearable. I would say part of the process is accepting the loss of your baby, as the loss of a child. Some mothers do not validate those feelings since there is often no funeral, no official farewell. However, it was very much a real loss and should be treated as such. Give the baby a name for closure, say your goodbyes, consider creating a small memorial if only for yourself. Try to find others who have had the same experience, who are willing to talk about their feelings. This forum is a good place to start.

Best Wishes,
Angela

Angela,

Would it be wrong to say that when I had lost my baby, that instead of having the doctors run tests and basically mutilate it, I make them place it in a substance and I have it in a safe place now. Is that a little morbid for one to do?