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  1. #1
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    14

    teaching my son responsibilty

    My son is 8 years old and I believe that it's time that I teach him how to be responsible. Every night, he is assigned in putting the trash outside. Every night, he complains that I'm always making him do it and why not his younger sister who is only 4 years old. I've explained to him that he's older and that I believe that he's ready to become an adult. How can I make him do chores without complaining all the time?

  2. #2
    Hi Patty,

    Asking your 8 year old son to take the trash out is a very reasonable request and should be greeted with an attitude of helpfulness. "Sure mum, I'd be happy to take the garbage out for you."

    You may need to teach your son the proper response and when he fails to have this response, you can give him an added incentive to have a helpful attitude by removing his "fun things" like computer time, TV time, playing with friends, etc.

    There are times when you may need to remove all fun things until he realizes that those things are rewards rather than entitlements. If he feels that he is entitled to just the fun stuff, and you are there to make his life fun, then he will resist your requests for him to help out around the house.

    I would start with making a chore chart for him. It can be anything from this simple printable chore chart to the more elaborate.

    You can make the chores rewardable. Something like, "If you do all your chores without being reminded and with a helpful attitude, you'll get an hour of computer time after dinner."

    Or you can give candy as rewards or take him to the park as a reward.

    Your 4 year old is not too young to start this with. In fact, if you start this with her now, when she is 8, she will know what is expected and you will have a happy helper in your home.

    Training children to take responsibility is not only really good for them, but you will find it very helpful and stress reducing for you. Your 4 year old can help make peanut butter sandwiches at lunch time. Your 8 year old can set the table and dry and put away dishes.

    There are many things your children can do and it's never too late to start teaching them how to be helpful. Here's a great page with 20 chore ideas for a 7 year old (and anything a 7 year old can do, your son can do, plus even more), and here's a page with chores that a 4 year old can do.

    Three important things to keep in mind. Let the children know exactly what you expect of them, don't expect them to do it perfect the first time (we're looking for a helpful attitude more than a perfect job), and praise them a lot! Praise, praise praise... you can correct, but be sure you are showering them with praise. Children love to please their parents, and when they feel like you're happy with the work they're doing (and with their good attitude) they'll be eager to do more.

    Please post back with your thoughts. Would love to hear how it goes.

    Warm Regards,

    Kate

  3. #3
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    14
    thanks so much Kate. Very helpful tips.

  4. #4
    Wow Kate, those are some great ideas! I have recently been pushing my children to do a bit more around the house. With four children I could definitely use the help! As a result I am already feeling my stress level dropping a bit and they seem to be getting into a bit less mischief now that they have something to do. I love the ideas you have provided for Patty and definitely plan on using some of them in my own home!

  5. #5
    Patty and Mom2Many,

    Glad you found these tips helpful

    Please post back with what you've tried and if you've had any measure of success or not. We want you to have lots of success in training your children to help with a good attitude.

    Warm Regards,

    Kate

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