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Thread: no time for my firstborn

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  1. #1
    New Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2012

    no time for my firstborn

    Hi! I'm Maria and I find myself too busy with the baby and housework to spend time with my six year old son like we used to when my daughter wasn't born yet. I'm scared that he will start resenting his baby sister. What can I do to avoid this?

  2. #2
    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Hi Maria,

    I'm glad you're concerned about this because not only may your son become resentful of his baby sister, but your lack of involvement in his life could lead to rebellion. You want to keep your son's heart and guard it so that he will listen to your wisdom and take your direction when you give it. This could be something as benign as "please take out the garbage" (at 6 years of age) or something as serious as "I don't want you to go out with those particular friends" when he is 16 years of age.

    So how can you work time with your son into your day? Include him in activities you do. If you're feeding the baby, have your son sit on the couch next to you, and read him a story (or ask him to read to you, if he's learning to read).

    If you're going to the grocery store, take your son with you and have him hold the bag open while you fill it with apples. When you take the cereal box off the shelf, hand it to him and ask him to put it in the basket. Some grocery stores have "little shopping cards" just for kids. If yours has this, look for one when you enter the store, and teach him how to push it along behind you. Teach him how to stop and look both ways before crossing an aisle, and how to be cautious of people in front of him (if you're in front of him, you can stop walking and see if he runs into you or if he's paying attention and is able to stop before hitting you). It's a great teaching time and he will have your attention. He can be your special helper on these trips. Be sure to plan extra time but it's worth it.

    What we feel is important is where we spend our time. If you shift your focus from "household chores are more important than my son" then you'll find you naturally make time to do things with him. Of course you still need to cook, but he can cook with you. There are many things a 6 year old can do in the kitchen. He can set the table, he can mix batter with a spoon, he can slice olives with a table knife (not a sharp knife) he can butter toast, etc.

    If he's in school, you can make a point to help him with his homework. You can also make a special date just with him, if your husband will watch the baby. Once a week take him out for an ice cream cone or breakfast. Just time for you and him.

    These things will go a long way to keeping his heart.

    Now that I've given you some ideas, do you have any other ideas to add to this list?

    Warm Regards,


  3. #3
    New Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Hello Kate!

    Thank you for your wonderful ideas

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