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  1. #1

    Allow children to play outside with other kids

    My kids are 5 and 2 years old. I don't allow them to go outside to play. My neighbors and family kept telling me that they need to play with other kids outside too. But I'm afraid for their safety. I'm also afraid that they may hurt other kids outside specially my older kid.

  2. #2
    Dear Leslie,

    Thank you for your question.

    I think there are a number of points to think about here.

    Firstly, and most importantly, you are completely right to put your children's safety first. From what you write, you would clearly be concerned for their safety if they played outside therefore you should not let them play outside unsupervised. I would say this decision is as simple as that.

    Children need lots of opportunities to socialise and play with other children. However, at this age the play should be supervised by an adult (particularly for your 2 year old). You could invite other children around to your house or garden to play. You could go to playgroups where parents stay with their children and you all have the chance to make new friends and play with new toys. However, you should not compromise their safety for this.

    When you say you are concerned your children may hurt other children is this because your children have been hitting? If this is the case I can thoroughly recommend this Little Hearts Gentle Parenting article 'When things get physical: hitting, throwing, kicking and biting'. In particular, if your child is going through a time of hitting it is essential that you supervise them closely and remind them about using 'gentle hands' and make sure other children are protected. This is another reason why playing unsupervised in this situation would not be advised. The article I have linked to has some excellent ways of practicing gentle discipline.

    Please do post back and let me know what you think.

    Warm wishes,
    LJ
    Last edited by ljmarsden; 9th January 2014 at 07:10 AM.

  3. #3
    Thank you, LJ. And thank you for the great article you shared.
    It's just that, sometimes, other parents won't let their child play with mine because they are afraid that my child will hit them. And I really feel bad about it. This is one of the reasons why I won't let my kids play outside with other kids.

    Actually she's in school right now and I always remind her not to hit or quarrel anyone. I even asked her teacher to let me stay near their classroom for me to check on her. I also won't let her play with other kids in her school. She is doing good so far. But I think it's because I'm around.

    Thank you.

  4. #4
    What you are doing is excellent. When a child is hitting you, or another adult, need to supervise them extremely closely. If this means following them around for a period of time and watching how they interact with other children and reminding them to be gentle then this is the best course of action. It is not fair on other children or the hitting child themselves to leave them unsupervised. With close supervision, frequent gentle reminders and, if necessary, removing them from more difficult/ likely to hit situations the hitting can be stopped early on. The relationship with your daughter's school is particularly important at this time and you want to aim to work together with her teacher to keep a close check on her behaviour.

    I hope the article I shared helps you and that things improve very soon.

    Best wishes,
    LJ

  5. #5
    Thank you. This will help me a lot and I hope there is an improvement very soon.

  6. #6
    Do let me know how things go.

    If there is no change then we can give some other suggestions.

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

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