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  1. #1
    New Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    12

    How to take care of my two young children

    Hello,

    I am going to give birth anytime this month, and I am still not so oriented with how to take care with my little infant and my 3 year old. I am a young mom and I don't have any relatives to help me or baby sitter to assist me at home and in taking care of my beloved little ones. my husband is always busy working and goes home 6pm, he can't manage to help me anymore and I don't want to nag him or pressure him because this is my responsibility. Please give me tips or guide, or whatever you wanted to say just to help.


    thanks,

    jopoys

  2. #2
    Hi Jopoys,

    My older son is nearly 2 and my youngest is 6 weeks. I can emphasise with how you are feeling as I was concerned about how I would manage with two little ones. However, I can honestly say that it is easier than I imagined. Certainly there are times when it gets manic when they both need me at once (e.g. they both need a nappy change) but overall it is great.

    I think one reason for this is that I found looking after a newborn and getting breastfeeding established easier the second time around. Also, my second birth was a positive experience unlike the traumatic first birth - so I did not have the trauma to process.

    In terms of how to manage a toddler and a newborn, I've found that it's easier to go out to an activity each day (the park, playgroup, a mums meet up group) so my toddler can enjoy energetic activities in different surroundings. When we are at home and my new baby is sleeping, I use the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with my toddler e.g. reading, playing with musical instruments, colouring.

    Something else to make life easier is to try not to worry too much about the housework - that can wait. Enjoy your kids - I hope you have wonderful family times together. On the difficult days remember you are not alone and you can post on this forum or talk to a friend.

    Best wishes,

    LJ

  3. #3
    Hi Jopoys,

    You just received some very valuable insight from LJ, who has a newborn and is working through the adjustment.

    Something I found super helpful with my 2nd child was getting a cordless phone. That sounds kind of silly now, since so many people have cell phones, but 18 years ago, we didn't have cell phones and our home phone was corded. Once I got the cordless phone it gave me so much more flexibility.

    I didn't spent a lot of time on the phone, but I did take phone calls throughout the day and if one of my young children needed me, I could stay on the phone while attending to them. I'd have to say that I spent more time on the phone then, than I do now. Now I spend much more time e-mailing and we recently stopped our home phone service, so we just have our cell phones now. Back then I desperately needed the adult contact because we didn't live near family and my husband was away at work much of the time.

    My first two children were 19 months apart. I was quite relieved that my 19 month old could climb into the car and into her car seat by herself. That made trips out easier.

    I often had my toddler next to me while I breastfed my younger child. We would read books or sing or play together. Sometimes I would set her up with some toys on the floor. My first child was very easy going, so it was really easy for her to keep herself occupied while I attended to the new baby.

    One benefit of newborns is that they sleep a lot. This will give you the opportunity to have plenty of time for your 3 year old, and as the baby gets older and starts to sleep less, you'll just gradually adjust and it won't seem like a large adjustment at all.

    My 3rd, 4th and 5th children are all 3 years apart. They played with each other well and my youngest two are very close and play very well with each other.

    It may help for you to include your 3 year old in a lot of things you are doing with your newborn. Ask him to bring you a nappy and wipes. Ask him to sing to the baby. Ask him to go and get a clean outfit for the baby (I had baby's outfits down low so my children could help me by getting things I needed).

    This not only helps you, but will also help him to feel like he's a big helper, which means less chance of him developing resentment towards the baby for taking mum time away from him.

    And as LJ said, feel free to post here anytime you need support or suggestions. We're here for you.

    Warm Regards,

    Kate

  4. #4
    I have four children, who are all very close in age, and I always say, transitioning from two to three was pretty hard. Transitioning from one to two, however, was not nearly as difficult as I imagined.

    There are a lot of things you can do to make it easier. For one thing, you should invest in a good baby carrier or two. Newborns sleep a lot naturally and those that are worn in a sling or carrier tend to cry far less. It will also give you two free hands to chase your toddler about, cook dinner, fold clothes, and all the other things you must do to get through the day. This forum has an entire section devoted to discussing baby wearing.

    Next, as the others have touched on, now is the time to get your three year old involved. A child that age is perfectly suited for small chores like tidying their room and can help by tossing diapers in the bin, fetching baby wipes, or doing other small things to help out around the house and with baby care.

    I hope that you enjoy our forum and post frequently. Most of the regular posters on this forum have been in your position, or are in it now. This is a great place to seek parenting advice.

    -Angela

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