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  1. #1
    New Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2012

    I have a POO problem with my eldest


    My eldest son is 3 years and 3 months, he still doesn't tells when he needs to poo. He usually just stood for a moment and giggled and there goes poop around him. Sometimes it's hard poop and there were times it's soft poop. The thing is I already am teaching him and give him poop schedules but still he wants to poop on his own way. I needed to do something about this because I am giving birth anytime this month and it's hard to manage this thing especially when were in public and I am bringing my little infant with me. It's embarrassing, and I don't want to scold my son from doing such thing. He's too young to be scolded and get spanked around everyone, it's not good.

  2. #2
    Hi jopoys,

    At 3 years and 3 months I would say that your son most likely has the ability to know when he needs to go and could make it to the lu if he wanted to. However, you know your son and you should be able to know whether you think he is able to do this or not.

    Is he able to control the muscles responsible for elimination? Do you think he purposefully holds the poo when you put him on the lu, even if he needs to go… waiting to go until you put him in his underwear?

    Does your son run to a "private" place while he poos in his pants? (i.e. running behind the couch, or to a corner of the room)

    If your son is simply being stubborn, then here are a few suggestions to help conquer his stubbornness.

    You may want to put him in a nappy or a pull-up when you are out of the house, so that if he poos, you avoid any kind of embarrassment to him and to you.

    If he doesn't like the idea of being a baby, then you may want to tell him that if he has an accident at home (poos his pants) you will need to put him in a nappy, like babies wear, when you go out. Only do this if you think it would motivate your child (i.e. the response you are looking for in him is "I don't want to wear a nappy, I'm not a baby.")

    It sounds like you already have him in "big boy" underwear, so telling him he's a big boy and needs to use the potty like daddy does, may not be a big enough incentive for him.

    If it's truly just stubbornness, then I would encourage you to make the "clean up" process (after he poos in his pants) rather uncomfortable. You can use a cold washcloth on him to clean him up. You can clean him up as much as possible with a cold washcloth, and then put him in the bath and let him know that you need to wash him off. If you have a hose sprayer in the tub, this works well to gently spray him off, but use cold water. We want to discourage him from getting dirty (pooing in his pants).

    I would only try the cold water and the cold wash cloths if you know in your heart that he is only being stubborn and purposely thwarting your attempts to get him to poo in the lu.

    If he is not pooing in his pants on purpose then it would not be good to use cold water. In this situation, you want to be compassionate and understanding that he simply can't control his poo elimination yet. In this case, just keep him in nappies until he is able to control his elimination.

    One family that I read about knew that their 3 year old was simply being stubborn and no matter how many times mum put him on the lu in an effort to help him go there, the child would simply hold it in until mum took him off the lu. Then, as soon as he was in underwear, he would find a "hiding place" and poo in his pants.

    That family decided to make a little tent between two pieces of furniture and put the potty chair in there. This allowed him to feel safe and secure and private while using his potty chair, and he used it. As soon as he was done, everyone made a big deal about how wonderful it was, and a few months later he could use any potty and wasn't pooing in his pants.

    I would like to conclude with one important thought. You are preparing for the arrival of another baby. It is very typical for 2 or 3 year olds who have recently potty trained to regress back into nap pies when a new baby arrives. If you are able to get your son to poo in the toilet before baby arrives, but notice that he regresses (has more accidents) then I would encourage you to put him in nappies for a couple of months so that you can fully focus on healing yourself after the birth, and on feeding and caring for the new baby. Changing a dirty diaper on a 3 year old is much easier than cleaning him up after he poos in his pants, and keeping him in nappies for a couple of months won't do any harm… in fact it could do a lot of good, giving him another couple of months to develop before you try to potty train him again.

    Warm Regards,


  3. #3
    Hello jopoys,

    Have you tried any of the suggestions I gave you with your son's poo problem? How is he doing?

    Warm Regards,


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