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24th July 2013 10:31 AM #1
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Teen and cell phone responsibility
My older son just turned 13 and it seems that punishments that had more of an impact before are no longer working. His grandparents gave him a cell phone (that's a whole other issue) so I thought about doing some sort of contract that would state if he gets in trouble he gets it taken away for X amount of time.
Any other ideas?
28th July 2013 09:30 AM #2
I have a child that required creative parenting/training when he hit his teens, so I understand what you're going through.
One of the things that helped the most was identifying the things he had that brought him pleasure. Television, Computer Games, and in your case the cell phone and maybe time spent with friends.
Once you have identified the things you allow him to have that bring him pleasure (things he likes to do during his free time) then you can just take those things away when he disobeys. You don't have to tell him ahead of time that you will be taking things away or that you will take them away for any specific period of time. He knows he should obey and when he doesn't obey, you enforce the consequence.
So it might look like this... Your son refuses to mow the lawn when asked. You respond by telling him that if he chooses not to mow the lawn, then he will not have any fun activities until he mows the lawn. You let him know that this includes TV and computer games, and you also let him know that you will take his phone away.
You may find that he chooses not to mow the lawn for a few days, but he also will not have any fun things at home, and will eventually realize how the game is played. You please me by obeying, and I'll please you by giving you the things you enjoy.
As for cell phones in general for a 13 year old... I would hope that the phone would have no access to the internet. The internet is so dangerous for boys, especially. In our home, any computer that is accessible to the children is locked down tightly and if they need something from the internet, we (the parents) will help them get what they need.
Feel free to post back with a specific situation you may need help with. I know this response was fairly general.