My experience giving birth was a tough one for me. I honestly thought that having induced labor would have been the worst of my problems, but I was so wrong. I ripped so badly and the stitching that was done to me was an injustice. Even after four months since my delivery, I still get pain when using the toilet. It's so horrible. For three months I couldn't look at myself in the mirror; my gynecologist had to tell me that I HAD to because it was important for me to know the progress of my body but it was so hard to look at. I don't feel like myself. I don't feel human. It really stresses me out to the point that my hair is dropping (I have two bald patches in the front) and my weight is dropping day by day. This is a really tough time for me. Looking at my son helps to take away the pain but sometimes, I feel so alone and I don't feel like a woman anymore.

I'm not sure how to go about gaining the woman-ness about myself. I'm not sure if I should bother.

Schez