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  1. #1
    New Member

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    Oct 2013
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    9

    Spanking as a discipline for a naughty 5 years old son

    It would break my heart every time i spank my son. Its the only way he would stop or listen to me.I started hitting him with belt a month ago when my "face to the wall" punishment doesn't work anymore.I want him to grow a happy and good child I badly need some advice on this thing.

  2. #2
    Dear Harvi,

    It breaks my heart reading your post. Many of us in the gentle parenting world, include myself, would say please don't hit your son - especially not with a belt. Physical discipline like this has actually been found to be ineffective at teaching children and it can have long term negative impacts including social problems in adulthood. I know it is hard when our children don't behave as we would ideally like but there are alternative forms of discipline available which are more effective and, importantly, demonstrate to our children love and respect.

    The Children's charity NSPCC have produced the resource 'why smacking is never a good idea' and they have this information on positive parenting. Save the Children's statement about this topic is 'years of experience show that smacking doesn't work. It can have a very detrimental outcome on a child's development.' Indeed, it is actually against the law in many countries, particularly using an instrument to harm a child.

    Dr. Sears is a doctor famed for his Attachment Parenting (otherwise known as Gentle Parenting) work and he writes:

    'Discipline is more about building the right relationship with your child than using the right techniques. You want to put into place a guidance system that keeps the child in check at age four and keeps his behavior on track at age forty, and you want this system to be integrated into the child's whole personality, a part of him or her.'

    I really can't recommend his resources on discipline highly enough. This includes offering offering alternatives to a situation in which a child is behaving in a way you are unhappy with. For example, if them are throwing all their toys on the floor saying 'I see you want to do some throwing now, shall we go outside and play ball or shall we go down to the park'. With gentle discipline, we seek to allow our children to explore the world and guide them to ways in doing this that are acceptable. Using humour to diffuse a potential conflict/ difficult situation is also an excellent tool.

    Little Hearts Books is again another excellent gentle discipline resource. In this article on 'Practical, Gentle, Effective Discipline' the author writes:

    'Drawing them close (time-in), offering words to help them express their frustrations (reflective language), and modeling coping skills and self-control for them are all ways of reconnecting with them to help them successfully navigate their present difficulty as well as cope with those they’re confronted with in the future.'

    I hope this is helpful for you and your son.

    Please do post back and let us know how we can support you with this further.

    Warm wishes,

    LJ

  3. #3
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    9
    Thank You. It really helps me a lot.I would really try all my best to discipline him in a good way because He's everything I have and I want him to grow a very good person. Thank you for your time .

  4. #4
    I am so pleased to read your post. You sound like a mum who really puts her son first which is great.

    I hope you do find the above resources helpful. Please post back anytime if you need anymore advice or support.

    From all my experience, practicing gentle discipline leads to children that are happy, respectful and mindful of others.

    I wish you all the best,

    LJ

  5. #5
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    9
    Thank you.

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