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  1. #1

    last bub hard labour

    My last delivery was scary and dangerous , even a year later I still get scared. How do I cope with that anxiety?

  2. #2
    Dear lisax04,

    I'm so sorry to hear that. I wonder if you could explain a little more about what happened with your last labour, as much as you are able without getting anxious. This will help us to answer your question more fully.

    Many hospitals offer an 'after birth thoughts' service where you can go through your notes (in as much detail as you wish) with a midwife. Many of our forum members have commented on this service in the past and said how it helped them to understand what happened to them. Information can often be key to resolving anxiety when it comes to birth.

    Are you anxious about giving birth in the future or do you (just) find the memories of your last birth stressful?

    I really do empathise with you. I suffered with post traumatic stress after the long and scary labour (where I felt out of control) of my first son. I found that talking through each part of this with an understanding friend really helped me to deal with it. It took a long time. When I became pregnant again I hired a doula (birth support partner) and took a hypnobirthing course; these helped me to have a positive birth experience with my second son (this is something I never thought was possible). I have learnt that fear is the enemy of the labouring woman and that she needs to be supported, respected and (as far as is possible) allowed to follow her instincts in labour. My second positive birth experience helped to heal some of the emotional pain and difficult memories I had been left with from my first birth. Obviously this is not a reason to have another baby but it can give hope to those who want more children but wonder how they will deal with the birth again.

    Other tools that can help with overcoming anxiety are exercises (particularly those which focus the breathing such as labour) and counselling.

    Thinking of you,
    LJ
    Last edited by ljmarsden; 22nd March 2014 at 07:05 AM.

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