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  1. #1

    Question How do I handle my child's imaginary friend?

    I know my daughter is just playing but when should I really be concerned about her "imaginary friend"?



    Thanks for your help!



    Kind regards,
    Jean

  2. #2
    Dear Jean,

    No, I don't think you should be at all concerned. I read on one of your other posts that your daughter is 3; it shows wonderful creative thinking and an active imagination that she has this 'imaginary friend'. Children often create imaginary friends to help themselves to tell stories or even to deal with situations that they find daunting. Dr. Sears writes:

    'Adults believe that it’s important to be firmly grounded in reality and to know the difference between real and pretend. But these are adult standards. To children, the world is not only what it really is, but what they need it to be. Imaginative thinking can actually help a child cope with the real world. Children periodically retreat into their make-believe world, which they can control, as a way of coping with the adult world which they can’t control.'

    So I would relax and enjoy your daughter's imaginary friend games together!

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

  3. #3
    Hello LJ,

    This is really comforting. I'm relieved knowing that this 'imaginary friend' isn't something to worry about. The fact that she's alone with us every fortnight might be the culprit. The boys only stays with us every other week. Half the time, they'll be at their mother's since she and my husband has 50/50 custody over them.

    I just realized that this could also be a form of her adjustment when her brothers are not around.

    Thank you LJ! I look forward to reading the responses to my other posts.


    Cheers,
    Jean

  4. #4
    You are very welcome Jean, I'm glad this was helpful.

    Yes I think I would agree with you. Having to adjust to her brothers being with her half of the time means constant change for your daughter and she may need the comfort and perceived stability of an imaginary friend.

    Is your daughter able to understand in advance which days the boys are with you and which they are away? Could you make a chart together to explain this so that she can easily see when they will be at your home?

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

  5. #5
    Hello LJ,

    Oh my God! That's a good idea! I think I'm seriously getting more occupied lately. The idea of creating a chart didn't occur to me.

    She knows they go back to their Mum's and come back home to us on Mondays. Although, she has no concept whatsoever when the Monday is.

    Thank you so much LJ, this is really a big help.


    Best regards,
    Jean

  6. #6
    You're so welcome It can be hard to think of new ideas sometimes when you are busy being a mummy 24/7!

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

  7. #7
    You're so welcome It can be hard to think of new ideas sometimes when you are busy being a mummy 24/7!

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

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