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  1. #1
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013

    Unhappy separation anxiety

    I dont want to be separated to my bub, but i need to go to work.... how can i deal or overcome this "sepatation anxiety"..... my bub cried when i left and it breaks my heart to hear her cry.

  2. #2
    Dear Nadinne,

    That's so difficult. I understand from your other posts that your little girl is 4 months old and she is breastfed. Are you able to gradually leave her for longer and longer rather than for hours at a time straight away? For example, 30 mins the first day, then 1 hour then 2 hours etc.

    Hold in mind that you are going to work to provide for her; to give her what she needs as she grows up.

    Who looks after your daughter whilst you are away? Is she just with one person or in a nursery setting? If she is in a nursery then taking in some of her toys/ comforting items (e.g. blanket/ teddy/ comforter) may help her to feel more confident in her surroundings. Most nurseries also welcome the parents in spending as much time as needed there at first to help their child to settle in.

    It may help if the person who is caring for her is able to wear her in a sling whilst you are away, if you are happy with this of course. Baby carriers such as the Manduca are supportive for the carer and baby and many babies settle in them as they feel close to the adult carrying them. My own children have always enjoyed napping in their carriers. You can pick them up second hand and there are also many 'sling libraries' out there where you can hire a good quality sling from.

    Are you leaving plenty of expressed breastmilk for your daughter so that there is no issue with her feeling hungry? Remember that she only needs breastmilk and no other food or liquid at this age but it will be important for her carer to offer it to her often enough.

    You will probably find that she wants to breastfeed as soon as you are together again. This will not simply be for nutritional reasons but also because your daughter wants to 'reconnect' with you again after your time apart. Savour these feeds together; bond and enjoy each others company. Your daughter may want to feed more often at night-time on the days when she is away from you in the day.

    In terms of helping yourself with the separation; be nice to yourself and take one day at a time. It will get easier. You may find it helpful if her carer can text or phone you a few times during the day with updates about your daughter (or even photo messages) so that you feel in touch with her and you can imagine what she is doing. How many hours a week are you working and over how many days?

    Thinking of you,
    Last edited by ljmarsden; 29th October 2013 at 06:44 AM.

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