Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 17
  1. #1
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    23

    I need a "me time"

    I am a mom of 22 months old daughter. I take care of her and all the house chores by myself. Sometimes I feel bored to do the same activities everyday and it makes me so stressful. The only time I can enjoy myself (take a rest) is when she is sleeping (and it is only for 30-60 minutes). When I'm going out I have to take her along because I can't entrust her to anyone else (including grandmother/grandfather because they will be too tired). Though, sometimes I asked my husband to help me but it wont last long because she will cry and start to look for me again.
    Thanks for sharing your experience.

  2. #2
    Hi Adinda,

    For many years, I was the sole care provider for my children. My husband didn't help very much, and I was breastfeeding so I couldn't be away from my babies for too long anyway.

    I would encourage you to have your daughter take a nap for 2 hours a day. If she will not sleep for that whole time, then put books or a stuffed animal in her bed so she has something to do when she wakes up. I made it a priority for my children to stay in their bed for at least 2 hours a day during nap time because I needed this "me" time.

    What time is your daughter going to sleep at night, and what time does she get up in the morning? What time do you go to bed at night and what time do you get up in the morning?

    Kate

  3. #3
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by 5Homebirths4Kate View Post
    Hi Adinda,

    For many years, I was the sole care provider for my children. My husband didn't help very much, and I was breastfeeding so I couldn't be away from my babies for too long anyway.

    I would encourage you to have your daughter take a nap for 2 hours a day. If she will not sleep for that whole time, then put books or a stuffed animal in her bed so she has something to do when she wakes up. I made it a priority for my children to stay in their bed for at least 2 hours a day during nap time because I needed this "me" time.

    What time is your daughter going to sleep at night, and what time does she get up in the morning? What time do you go to bed at night and what time do you get up in the morning?

    Kate
    Hello,

    Thanks for sharing. I'll try to adjust the time so I can have my "me time". I mean, I really need a "me time" once in a while

  4. #4
    Dear Adinda,

    Do you take your daughter to many playgroups? Whilst these are not 'me time' I find they are often a good way to have a chat with other parents so that you feel you are not the only one struggling and you can share ideas and problems. I have always found that going out somewhere each day with my children is absolutely essential to all of our well-beings. My children enjoy the change in environment and new stimulation and I enjoy the adult interaction as well as watching my children play and make friends.

    You could also ask family or friends if they could look after your daughter whilst you were in another room of the house. Hopefully this would be less tiring for those looking after your daughter (it could just be for a short period of time) and they will also know you are there if your daughter cannot be consoled. You could then take some time out to have a bath or read or book and enjoy some 'me time'.

    Your husband can help with gradually building up the time he is looking after your daughter for. Perhaps if he takes her out for a short walk or to the park your daughter will not become upset because she will know you aren't there right now.

    Remember 'this too will pass'. Your daughter won't always only want you; over the next 6 months she will start to amuse herself more and more. Don't feel guilty about wanting a little time to yourself either; it is hard work being a mummy!

    I'm also interested in Kate's question about how your daughter sleeps at night?

    Warm wishes,

    LJ

  5. #5
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by ljmarsden View Post
    Dear Adinda,

    Do you take your daughter to many playgroups? Whilst these are not 'me time' I find they are often a good way to have a chat with other parents so that you feel you are not the only one struggling and you can share ideas and problems. I have always found that going out somewhere each day with my children is absolutely essential to all of our well-beings. My children enjoy the change in environment and new stimulation and I enjoy the adult interaction as well as watching my children play and make friends.

    You could also ask family or friends if they could look after your daughter whilst you were in another room of the house. Hopefully this would be less tiring for those looking after your daughter (it could just be for a short period of time) and they will also know you are there if your daughter cannot be consoled. You could then take some time out to have a bath or read or book and enjoy some 'me time'.

    Your husband can help with gradually building up the time he is looking after your daughter for. Perhaps if he takes her out for a short walk or to the park your daughter will not become upset because she will know you aren't there right now.

    Remember 'this too will pass'. Your daughter won't always only want you; over the next 6 months she will start to amuse herself more and more. Don't feel guilty about wanting a little time to yourself either; it is hard work being a mummy!

    I'm also interested in Kate's question about how your daughter sleeps at night?

    Warm wishes,

    LJ
    Hi LJ,

    No, I don't take her to playgroups. I plan to do that but maybe after she's 2 years old.
    My parents are both still working so I don't want to burden them, since my daughter is very active and a bit over reacting if her grandparents are around her.My husband is helping me but sometimes it is not effective since my daughter is always looking for me.

    She sleeps well a night and awake only to ask for breast milk (2-3times). I don't have much difficulties at night since she was a baby.

    Thanks

  6. #6
    Dear Adinda,

    Thank you for your reply.

    I'm glad you and your daughter are getting enough sleep at night-time. Are you able to have any 'me time' in the evenings when she is asleep?

    My eldest son when through a phase of only wanting me when he was about 15 months old. He wouldn't even accept food from my husband! I was desperate for a break. But, looking back, that phase only lasted for 6 weeks. I took as much help as I could during the time and accepted he may be less happy with my husband but I sometimes needed to have a shower alone. This felt right for our family.

    The playgroups can be ones where you go together (i.e. you certainly don't need to take your daughter to playgroups where she is left until you feel ready) but many mums find these sort of groups helpful for both their children and themselves.

    Would it be an option for your parents to look after her after she has had an active morning (at the park or a play gym) so that she can spend some quieter time with them? Many grandparents really do just love the opportunity to help out with their grandchildren.

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

  7. #7
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by ljmarsden View Post
    Dear Adinda,

    Thank you for your reply.

    I'm glad you and your daughter are getting enough sleep at night-time. Are you able to have any 'me time' in the evenings when she is asleep?

    My eldest son when through a phase of only wanting me when he was about 15 months old. He wouldn't even accept food from my husband! I was desperate for a break. But, looking back, that phase only lasted for 6 weeks. I took as much help as I could during the time and accepted he may be less happy with my husband but I sometimes needed to have a shower alone. This felt right for our family.

    The playgroups can be ones where you go together (i.e. you certainly don't need to take your daughter to playgroups where she is left until you feel ready) but many mums find these sort of groups helpful for both their children and themselves.

    Would it be an option for your parents to look after her after she has had an active morning (at the park or a play gym) so that she can spend some quieter time with them? Many grandparents really do just love the opportunity to help out with their grandchildren.

    Warm wishes,
    LJ
    Hi LJ,

    Thank you so much for your advice and support
    My "me time" while my daughter asleep is turning on my laptop and go online
    I hope I can managed to get through this phase with a smile on my face.

    Cheers,
    Adinda

  8. #8
    Keep smiling! You are doing a wonderful job bringing up your daughter Adinda.

    Remember that it is ok to need some time out and for your husband to start caring for your daughter more and more in the evenings/ at weekends.

    In a few months your daughter will have changed again and you will be able to look back at this phase with joy at the precious times you spent bonding as a family.

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

  9. #9
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by ljmarsden View Post
    Keep smiling! You are doing a wonderful job bringing up your daughter Adinda.

    Remember that it is ok to need some time out and for your husband to start caring for your daughter more and more in the evenings/ at weekends.

    In a few months your daughter will have changed again and you will be able to look back at this phase with joy at the precious times you spent bonding as a family.

    Warm wishes,
    LJ
    sure, i'll cherish every moment. thank you LJ

    warm regards,
    Adinda

  10. #10
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by maanjackson View Post
    I guess she's actually loving only your comfortness but try to keep her with other at least for a while or else it would be very difficult for you to keep her always with you...
    Hi,

    will try to do that, thanks for sharing

  11. #11
    New Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    20
    Good Day,

    I can very much relate to this. Although I am working and the hours spent on work is my "me" time already. When I am home or in any gathering with my two girls, they don't want anybody to take care of them except me. Although I don't like it very much either if they want someone else to take care of them. Its just that sometimes, just sometimes, just that fleeting moment when I want to think about me again. No distractions, specially when I am sick. Is that so selfish?

  12. #12
    New Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    23
    Quote Originally Posted by 2jhoan View Post
    Good Day,

    I can very much relate to this. Although I am working and the hours spent on work is my "me" time already. When I am home or in any gathering with my two girls, they don't want anybody to take care of them except me. Although I don't like it very much either if they want someone else to take care of them. Its just that sometimes, just sometimes, just that fleeting moment when I want to think about me again. No distractions, specially when I am sick. Is that so selfish?

    Hello,

    I think it's natural. I mean, I love my daughter so much yet sometimes I need an escape from routinity once in a while. I'm not working, I am 24/7 with my daughter. Sometimes I want to work again, hanging out with my friends after office hour, but I don't think I am able to enjoy it that much because I'll think of my daughter at home

  13. #13
    New Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    20
    Yes, I know. Everytime I am not with them, I always think of them.

  14. #14
    You sound like a very dedicated mother 2jhoan. Sometimes we have to be away from our children and work so that we can provide for them and take care of them. I can certainly emphasise with you when you say you want to be the one that spends time with your children and cares for them whenever you are not working. But sometimes we all need a break. This does not detract in any way from your commitment and love for your children. It is natural and normal to need a little 'me time'; certainly not selfish. Indeed, sometimes a little break (even just for an hour or two to have coffee with a spouse or friend) can refresh us and give us the energy to be able to engage fully with our children; totally present in that time with them rather than thinking about wishing we were elsewhere.

    I have found that planning my month in advance and factoring in a little 'me time' at least every other week helps me to be the mum I want to be without burning out of energy.

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with us 2jhoan.
    Best wishes,
    LJ

  15. #15
    Hello,
    I was thinking about the "me time",that I need time for myself, and reading the posts I realized that my "me time" would be perfect as "we time". I think that I am that kind of person who needs other person to be happy. My question is: Could you recommend some activities for me and my husband that can be "we time", and it would happen in our house, during daytime, and would make our marriage to be stronger?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •