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  1. #1

    Miidle Child Syndrome?

    Now that I'm having my third baby and its my first baby boy and I had two girls from my previous pregnancies. The eldest is 3 years old while my second baby is 2 years old. I'm having a problem on how can I balanced my attention with my babies when my 3rd comes out. I'm especially concerned to my 2nd child. The eldest always got the attention of others because she's our first baby and now that I'm having my first baby boy, I'm afraid that my attention will be less with my second. Actually my second child is more closer to his Dad. How can I still balanced my attention with them?

  2. #2
    Dear Akima,

    I think your post echoes the concerns of many pregnant women who have older children. I know I had these concerns too. However, I am constantly amazed at how adaptable and flexible young children are. Most likely, it won't be long before your second daughter can't remember you new baby son not being there.

    A good way to involve your older children when a new baby comes along (and so make them feel included and loved) is to get them to 'help' you with the new baby. Many toddlers and young children enjoy doing little tasks like getting you the nappy changing equipment or fetching toys for the baby. Your daughters may also start mimicking you; have their dolls or soft toys ready so that they can be mummy too (pretending to breastfeed, nappy change and cuddle their dolls etc).

    Many parents find that babywearing helps them to stay close to their new baby whilst interacting more easily with their toddlers and older children. You can even breastfeed in the sling (with a little practice) so your hands are free to play with your daughters. I can highly recommend a stretchy wrap (such as a JPMM or Moby) for a new baby.

    If you are able to have some one-to-one time with each of your daughters every day then this will really help you all to adjust to having a new member of the family. Perhaps your husband or another family member could help out with the other daughter whilst you are having this one-to-one time. I would still count it as one-to-one time with your daughter if your new son is asleep in the sling.

    Have you been talking to your daughters and gently preparing them for the new baby's arrival? You can use role play to help you do this. There are also some excellent books available out their to help older siblings understand what is going to happen. I can recommend There's a House Inside My Mummy by Giles Andreae.

    There are times each day when every mum with two, three or more children finds it hard to know where to direct their attention. I have been reading your posts and you sound like a very devoted mummy; I am sure all your children feel very loved. Try not to feel guilty that you cannot give your daughters the same level of attention now; you are giving them a baby brother. What a wonderful gift!

    Warm wishes,
    Last edited by ljmarsden; 14th November 2013 at 07:13 AM.

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