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  1. #1
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    Nov 2013
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    Baby that fights falling asleep

    My daughter is 5 months old and not a good sleeper. She will nurse to sleep for naps and at night. The problem is when other people are watching her (daddy, MIL) she wont sleep at all, even when she's obviously exhausted! Any tips? It's gotten to the point that I feel bad leaving her for more than quick grocery trips, because everyone ends up cranky. Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Mumof2IVFmiracles's Avatar
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    Hi Callie

    This is a hard one. Your baby is still quite young and given she feeds to sleep, it is bound for her to be hard to settle any other way. Feeling tired but being without you must be quite stressful for her and this of course is leading to a stressful time for the adults looking after her while you're away.

    You could get lots of opinions on this one but I am going to go out on a limb and give mine. Your daughter is little and at this point in her life you are her world. It is okay for her to need you to go to sleep. It is also okay for you to need or want to go out.

    The happy medium for all might be to plan to leave her with Dad or MIL after a nap rather than before. This way she will be a lot happier about being left and Dad or MIL will have a nicer time with her. You will also be able to go out knowing that while baby might want to have you there all the time, for right now she is just fine with daddy or MIL.

    As your baby gets older her need for sleep will change. She will slowly move towards two distinct nap times (if not already there) and eventually to one (and then none *gasp!*). The introduction of solids and also greater activity levels as your baby learns to crawl and then walk will help this along. As this happens your ability to predict good times to leave her will improve.

    For now I say let her need you, send daddy or MIL out for the groceries if your baby is exhausted and needs to go to sleep, and seize opportunities to head out either while she is sleeping or once she wakes and is happy to play for a while.

    I hope this helps!

    Regards
    Yvette
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  3. #3
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    Nov 2013
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    Thank you so much for your advice! It really does help. I showed my husband your post and I think he really appreciated it too, as he's been feeling like he was doing something wrong.

  4. #4
    Dear Callie,

    I can really emphasize with you. It's great that you have had some excellent advice from Yvette above - I certainly agree with Yvette's comments.

    Paula Yount writes:

    'You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort'

    These are my sentiments. At five months old you are your daughter's world. It is absolutely fine (and, indeed, a beautiful thing) that your daughter will only fall asleep whilst breastfeeding. This is natural and normal.

    Do you wear your daughter in a sling at all? This previous post talks about the benefits of babywearing. This is another excellent way of bonding with your baby. You can even breastfeed on the walk to the shops with a good sling!

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

  5. #5
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    Nov 2013
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    We have just started babywearing with a wrap (previously using a carrier that I had to taker her out to feed). It's a little tricky to figure out, but we are getting the hang of it!

  6. #6
    That's wonderful news! Yes I have found wraps and carriers that you can breastfeed in invaluable.

    It does take a little time to get used to wrapping (one babywearing consultant told me it took her about 3 weeks of practicing until she was really confident with back wraps).

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

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