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Thread: Practicing fairness among children

  1. #1

    Practicing fairness among children

    Hi fellow mums!

    I'm sure everyone agrees in letting their 2nd baby wear hand-me-downs from their first born. But does any of you feel any pity for the second baby since he/she has no or rarely has new clothes? I admit I do feel that way. But is it totally all right if all my second baby's clothes are hand-me-downs from my first born? Am I being a bad mum here?

  2. #2
    I'm sure everyone agrees in letting their 2nd baby wear hand-me-downs from their first born.

  3. #3
    New Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    I doubt your baby knows or cares that they're wearing hand-me-down clothes There are much more important things in your baby's life, such as a loving caring family!

  4. #4
    Hi Mary,

    Almost all of my second child's clothes are hand-me-downs. He certainly isn't fussed about what he is wearing! In fact, both my boys sometimes wear clothes that were once my husband's (e.g. they have some lovely knitted jumpers made by my husband's granny). I like the fact that my youngest wears clothes that have meaning and memories for our family.

    This also means that we can spend less money on clothes and more on family days out (e.g. swimming or to the farm). This seems like a 'win win' situation to me.

    There is no way that you are being a 'bad mum' by letting your children wear hand-me-downs. You are keeping your children warm and appropriately dressed and giving them your love and attention; you are a wonderful mum

    Warm wishes,

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Marrickville, Sydney, Australia
    Hi Mary

    I kept all my first daughters clothes and they are now worn by my second daughter born six years later. Daughter number two is over the moon when I tell her 'this was your big sister's!'

    In addition I have always shopped for my girls at good quality second hand stores. From an environmental perspective as well as a monetary one I see no benefit in spending enormous amounts of money on clothes that will be worn only for a short time. It also makes me less worried about stains.

    As for having new clothes, if it really does bother you then encourage some of your relatives or friends to buy some as part of birthday or other special occasion gifts. No child wants to get just clothes but a piece of clothing along with something 'more fun' can be great!

    And lastly stop stressing about whether you are a bad mum. A bad mum would not even ask the question!


  6. #6
    New Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Good day. I can relate to Mary. In fact, my 2nd daughter ( 2 yrs old) will tell me that what she is wearing is her sisters clothes. She will not wear anything not hers, so I told her that we are just going to borrow. Same with her sister borrowing her clothes. With my 2nd daughter conscious of her belongings, should I give her hand me downs? Even I, if I wear something that she knows are clothes of her father, she will tell me that I am wearing her papa's clothes!

  7. #7
    I think that your daughter is just interested in pointing out that she is aware when someone is wearing different clothes/ clothes that are interesting to her. I don't think that this means she doesn't want to wear her sister's clothes or feels it unfair. In fact, I think its a good way to start to teach her about sharing and making good use of resources.

    Children model the behaviour and attitudes that they experience around them. I would use this as an excellent opportunity to demonstrate your family's attitudes towards sharing possessions and caring for each other.

    Best wishes,

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