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26th November 2013 04:32 AM #1
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- Nov 2013
How do I explain to a 5-year old about how adults can do certain stuff but kids can't
They say that imitation is the best form of flattery but when it is your 5-year old kid copying the way you discipline him, then it can be unsettling.
For example, he would do something or would ask me for something he's not allowed to have, I would say it with a firm 'No'. Now when I would ask him to do something he doesn't like (drinking his medicine, or being on the computer) he gives me 'No', with that same firm decisive tone I'd use for him....lol
He's a very observant kid and is probably confused why his mum and siblings can do cool stuff.
How do I explain to a 5-year old about how adults can do certain stuff but kids can't?
28th November 2013 12:20 PM #2
I can hear two issues here. One is about your child being too young to do some of the things his siblings (and his parents) do. The other is him taking your strategies for dealing with him when he is doing something inappropriate and using them with you.
One of the things we have to remember when guiding our children's behaviour is that whatever strategies we use with them, they will use with others. For instance children who are hit often hit others. If children are given answers without reasons they will often return those reason-less answers to others. Rather than a firm no, consider explaining to your child what he can't have or do and offering an alternative. Send to him the strategies and tone you would like him to use with you in return. It really is true that children learn what they live and as parents we can be the most wonderful role-models when it comes to dealing with conflict.
In terms of your son missing out on cool stuff, it isn't unreasonable for him to feel this is unfair. But obviously there will be things he can't do. But there are also things which maybe, truthfully he can do. Consider whether he really does have to miss out? Is there something he can get to do that the older children don't? This will enable him to better accept that some things he can't do.
My nine year old's latest complaint is that I get to stay up late and watch television. The truth is I rarely get to do this as I am usually working but from her perspective what else would I be doing but watching TV (!). My answer to this is always the same. Adults and children need different amounts of sleep and have different things they have to do each day. As parents we spend a lot of our time looking after children and once they are safely tucked up in bed we then get a little time to ourselves as a reward. This helps us to be better parents!