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5th December 2013 03:55 PM #1
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- Dec 2013
How do I deal with a rough toddler?
My friend has a very rough toddler who pushes, hits and bites. She is lovely but she doesn't do anything to stop him from hurting other children and simply says she can't control him. Her child recently pushed another child off a swing and broke his arm. I thought it might be a wake up call for her, but it wasn't. Do you have any advice about how to handle this? Although it sounds bad, I am starting to think about avoiding playtimes with her and I know that other mothers are already doing this.
12th December 2013 04:57 AM #2
Your number one priority is to your child, and this means that you need to choose your child's play mates carefully. Your child will pattern themselves after what they see, what they hear and who they interact with.
I ran a day care for 6 years, and I found that when one child started biting, often another child would start biting too. If one child started hitting, other children would hit too. Sadly, if I had a biter that would not stop biting, I would have to move them out of my day care for the safety of the other children, and also, to keep the other children from picking up this type of behavior.
With my own children, I have been very careful about what they are exposed to. I know they pattern after what they see and hear, so I have made sure that they are not exposed to bad attitudes or violence, and that they are exposed to excellent role models, good music and good programming.
I was always very careful when I took my children to the park. I stayed right by them (and "yes", that meant moving around the play yard with them as they ran around) and I interacted with them. If there was another child at the park that caused problems, I would call my child over to me, and we would go to another area together.
You could put your child on a swing, and push him. This would keep him separated from the other child while still allowing your child some outside play time.
It's really important that you learn to be most concerned about what's best for your own child right now, and become much less concerned about what others may think. If another parent can't control her child, and the child is out of control, it will be best to avoid spending time. There are much more relaxing things you could do with your child, that would promote happiness and excitement about learning and life.
Last edited by 5Homebirths4Kate; 12th December 2013 at 08:11 AM.
12th December 2013 07:42 AM #3
Absolutely fantastic advice from Kate.
We must put our children first; if this means not spending time with certain other children/parents then that is what must happen. Children model the behaviour they see around them both from other adults and children. Enjoy these special days with your little boys and have fun somewhere else!