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  1. #1

    How do I build a bond between a father and new born when they are miles apart?

    How do I build a bond between a father and new born when they are miles apart? My friend just had a baby and her husband is over seas. The baby is only two months old and her dad is over seas for nine months. What can we do to build a bond between the two of them?

  2. #2
    The bond needs to be focused on father's need for bonding more than baby's because the baby will not have any bonding at all at 11 or 12 months of age. Even a father who is with their child for a year, and then goes away for a few weeks will find the child quite distant and "clingy" to mum because their memory hasn't developed to that point yet.

    But, of course, Daddy knows that he has a child, and the bonding needs to be established if possible. Likely, daddy will fall in love with his baby when he gets home, but if you want to try to create and strengthen a bond before the, pictures and video are the absolute best way to do this. If they can do skype calls or send pictures to daddy, that would help with the bonding. The more frequent and consistent, the better. This way daddy will feel like he's watching his little one grow over the next 9 months in a natural way.

    Hope this helps.

    Kate

  3. #3
    That's really difficult dwright7799.

    I agree that skype, photos and video are the best way to stay in touch. Babies grow, change and develop so much at this age this will help the dad to feel involved in this process. I also have friends who have family overseas and their toddlers like to interact with their family members by skype.

    Mum could keep a daily diary (it doesn't have to be long or arduous) with a photo and a few sentences that capture what the baby was doing that day. I would also encourage the mum to keep talking about daddy to the baby; telling her stories about him and reinforcing how much he loves her.

    It's certainly not going to be easy for anyone. It's good news that mum has you as a friend to help support her. I think a gentle approach will be needed once dad comes back as the baby will not be used to having him around.

    Thinking of your friend,
    LJ

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