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  1. #1

    Out of control child

    My 5-year old daughter does not listen to me and always ignoring what I say. She is very aggressive and cries and screams instead of just speaking in normal tone.

    I tried talking to her sofly, take her favorite toy, scold her; but all failed. I even spank her sometimes, but still she's doing the same.

    Her younger sister is not like this. She listens and follows my orders.

    What are the best ways to discipline children like this in her stage? Please help.

  2. #2
    Hi Leslie,

    I have 5 children, and one of my children has a much stronger temperament than the others. He has been my biggest challenge, so I do understand that some children can be more of a challenge than others when it comes to training and discipline.

    The first thing I would do is to be sure she is getting all the nutrients she needs. Feeding the brain and the nervous system is important. Along of this is avoiding foods that trigger inflamation and avoiding blood sugar spikes. Often times children need to eat small amounts every 2 hours, and often they need high quality protein like chicken, beef, eggs, fish, nuts and seeds.

    While working on improving diet, you can also offer quiet activities - calming activities. If you find that your daughter is overstimulated easily, avoid overstimulating activities. Avoid parties and crowds (shopping malls) and areas where there may be loud music. You want to make sure her nervous system is as calm as possible to avoid explosive reactions. Drinking a cup of chamomile tea in the evening or anytime during the day can help with calming and relaxation.

    Next I would work on discipline. You may need to be more consistent with your 5 year old as you work through these challenges. Is your daughter out of control because she doesn't respect you and the direction you give, or is it more of a chemical imbalance within her body? Maybe it's both.

    Are you being very consistent in training your daughter? When you ask her to do something, do you expect her to do it the first time, and does she expect that you will discipline her if she does not respond the first time? It's really important to move towards your child in an attempt to help her to do what you asked, if she does not respond the first time. Otherwise, it sets both the child and parent up for frustration. If you ask her to do something and she ignores you, and you ask her again, and again, you may find yourself getting frustrated and finally responding in frustration and anger. This can often trigger the child to respond in much the same way.

    But if you ask her once and then train her to respond the first time, it can be a blessing to you both. She will appreciate and respect the boundaries you give her, and you will have a child that wants to please her mum.

    Warm Regards,

    Kate

  3. #3
    Thanks Kate. I learn so much from you. I guess I should also train myself to have more patience in training her to respond. Thanks again.

  4. #4
    I have a similar question. My 2 year old likes playing with other children, but after aprox 2 hours she can't be controlled anymore. Takes other child's toys, starts screaming, and hitting them. My question is if it is could be a normal behavour?Should I take her to the doctor?

  5. #5
    Hi Jasmin,

    You mentioned that your 2 year old enjoys playing with other children but tends to go out of control after 2 hours.

    I would say that she probably gets overtired and simply has a hard time coping after 2 hours. She may also need to eat at that point. Most 2 year olds need to eat every 2 hours in order to feed the brain and keep blood sugar levels stable.

    it would be interesting to know more about the situation. What time of day do you notice her going "out of control" when she's around other children? Has she had anything to eat during that time, and if so, was it nourishing and sustaining (i.e. a nut butter like Almond Butter or Peanut Butter, or a scrambled egg) or was it quick energy (i.e. biscuits, cookies, crackers). What your daughter eats before and during play could contribute quite a lot to how well she is able to get along with others.

    I would limit her interaction with others to about an hour or an hour and a half (that's a long time for a 2 year old) and remove her from that situation before she gets over tired or over hungry.

    When you are referring to this social situation, is it one where you are visiting with friends, or is she in a day care or preschool setting when this happens?

    Warm Regards,

    Kate

  6. #6
    This situation happened several times at my friend's home, when my daughter was playing with my friend's daughter. Of course, she ate normal food, no crackers, biscuits, but I think the solution is to give her more often to eat.

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