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19th March 2014 03:53 PM #1
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
How will I improve the relationship between my husband and my eldest son?
Since I gave birth to my eldest son, he had been under the care of his grandparent(my father more especially). He was seldom been under the care of his father that over the years, they have grown apart and have not developed a closer bond to one another. Now that my son is already on his teen age years and I know that it would be better for him to have attachment with his father, I am really getting anxious on how can I bring them together so they get to bond and develop a closer relationship so that my son would be guided accordingly. Please help me on what steps should I take to improve my son and my husband's relationship as father and a son. Thank you.
6th April 2014 07:22 AM #2
I'm sorry to hear that you feel the relationship between your son and your husband is not strong at the moment. Thank you for posting your question here and we will do our utmost to support you with this.
Making positive memories together is an important way for parents to build relationships with their children. It would be great if your son and husband were able to spend at least a few hours each week (if not more) doing an activity that they both enjoy together. This could be: playing a particularly sport together, going for a meal together, making a meal, going for a long walk, camping, shopping for a certain hobby etc. Prioritise these father-son times and put them in your calendar in advance so that other, less important but perhaps more pressing, events do not come and take their place.
Encourage your husband to really spend time listening to your son. It is easy to hear the words that someone is saying but interpret them how we want to. However, the skill of a good listener is to truly understand what is meant by someone's words. Your husband could think of a little way each day to demonstrate to your son that he loves him. This need not be expensive or time-consuming. For example, it might be remembering to ask about something which concerns your son at school or including his favourite food in the dinner.
There are lots of excellent charities and resources there to support families. For example, care for the family has produced this article on Ten Ways to be a Great Dad - such as assume the best and be silly once a day! You could ask your husband to have a read through the articles/resources on this website if he thinks it will be helpful.
Other useful websites include: Focus on the Family Australia and the Raising Children Network.
I wish you and your family all the very best with this. Please do let us know any further questions that you have so that we can support you further.