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Thread: How will I change my eldest son?
20th March 2014 03:16 AM #1
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
How will I change my eldest son?
One thing which is very hard for me to accept is the fact that I have not done much for my eldest during his growing years. He was always left under the custody of my parents because I was so engrossed with my work that I now understand that partly I am to be blamed for all the not so good things I see from my eldest son. One is on his studies, he will soon enter college life and I am afraid that he might not be able to hurdle the life of tertiary education since I do not see him study his lessons at all. He is more focused in watching TV and also with computer gaming and social media. Another thing is his being lazy, he just don't want to follow anything that I tell him. Is it because I did not train him when he was younger to become obedient and industrious? Is there a still a possible way for me to train him at his age of 16? Please help me with this problem, I only want the best for my children and I am willing to take the pain whatever it takes just for me to help them grow as a responsible adult. Thanks i n advance.
12th April 2014 05:38 AM #2
I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling. It sounds like you have tried to do the best for your son; and this meant that you had to work to provide for him when he was younger.
The majority of your description of your son does sound like a normal 16 year old to me! Most teenagers spend a lot of time on social media sites etc. Please try not to blame yourself or make yourself feel guilty.
For all children, be they teenagers or toddlers, respect and behaving appropriately stems from a strong, trusting and caring relationship. I would actually advise that the best way to help your son to respect you and listen to your views is to focus on spending quality time with him. It is particularly important for teenagers to feel that they are understood and listened to. Find out about your son's interests and try to share them with him; find a common interest that you can enjoy together.
Care for the Family has some good resources on parenting teenagers also have a look at The Kids Are All Right also have a look at the Raising Children Network. You could also look at attending a positive parenting course near you which is particularly aimed at raising teenagers.