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  1. #1

    THe 3rd Child Debate

    My husband and I can not decide if we should continue to have a third child. What are some major issues to consider in this life altering decision?

  2. #2
    Dear live2BaMom,

    Yes - there is so much to consider! With many families it comes down to if they feel that their family is 'complete' at two children or not yet. Many women talk about knowing that they just had to have another child; in some cases this feeling can be quite soon after having the second child. What are both your and your husband's overall feelings about family size? Have either/ both of you always wanted a certain number of children?

    I think that this overall sense of whether you feel it is right for your family to have another child is the over-riding decision maker. There are practical considerations to look into too but perhaps these can always be overcome/ lifestyles adapted compared to a deep want for another child and a sense that the family is not yet 'complete'.

    In terms of some of the practical issues, these include:

    - your financial situation: can you afford to have another child (and any drop in income with maternity leave etc) in your current set-up, if not, do you have a viable alternative means (e.g. different job or moving to a different area etc) which would enable your family to support another child?

    - managing on a day-to-day basis: do you feel your family would be able to manage the practical demands of having a new baby? Part of this decision will depend on the age gap that you already have and the age gap that you are thinking about.

    - health: did you have any health difficulties in pregnancy or post-partum which would impact your ability to look after your children for this period of time. If so, do you have extra help available from family and friends?

    - house: what size house do you have and how would this affect sleeping and eating arrangements?

    I wish you all the best with making this decision.

    Warm wishes,
    Last edited by ljmarsden; 21st April 2014 at 05:59 AM.

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