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30th April 2014 06:35 AM #1
- Join Date
- Apr 2014
Split and blending family dynamic
My family is comprised mostly of step uncles, aunts and cousins. I have one cousin in particular who's father has been in a rocky relationship with his girlfriend of 4 years (not his biological mother) and his mother has had many different boyfriends throughout his life (he is now 12 years old). I worry about him and his ability to distinguish what it means to have a solid, stable family and wonder what kind of affect this could have on his relationships in life. Of course, it is common now a days that children come from divorced families and have step-parents and brothers and sisters, but I would like to know in what ways could parents approach this type of situation to ensure their children understand the importance of healthy relationships.
Thanks in advance.
31st May 2014 02:16 AM #2
Thanks for your post - certainly an interesting question in today's culture.
Obviously the very best way of showing children what a solid, loving family home is like comes from modelling this (as you refer to above). Families may all look different but it is love and care and stability which are important to children. When this is not experienced and modelled at home unfortunately problems are likely to start to arise. Research shows that children who do not experience healthy relationships at home more likely to have problems forming healthy relationships in the future.
Of course, this does not necessarily have to be the case. If children have other strong relationships with adults where they see healthy marriages and partnerships then they can draw from these examples in their own lives. Seeing this in practice really does make every difference. Churches and mentoring programs can often provide other adult role models to children who may need this.
If, as parents, we live in a way which values relationships and treat other people with the respect and care they deserve then our children will learn to do this naturally.