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  1. #1

    the right time have second child?

    I'm now 32 years old and my first child is 8 month old. I plan to get pregnant again after my baby is 2 years old (finish breastfeeding). That means I'll give birth when I'm around 35 --vulnerable age to have problems during pregnancy. I don't think I can handle it if I have to get pregnant again while I'm still breastfeeding. I'm a working mum. What should I do? Thanks.

  2. #2
    Dear lovingmum,

    What is it about breastfeeding and being pregnant that you are particularly concerned about? As your baby becomes a toddler they will breastfeed less and less and some pregnant mums who are feeding actually find it gives both themselves and their toddler chance to have a rest or a nap together in the daytime. I personally would not choose to wait until I had finished breastfeeding to get pregnant. I tandem fed my two boys. I actually found this helped my older son to feel connected to me when there was a new baby and to bond with his brother too. Plus, many mums wouldn't want to put a time limit on when their toddler needs to stop breastfeeding by - this could cause extra pressure and stress for everyone (stress is best avoided when you are preparing to conceive). Most children who are left to wean by their own means will do so between age 3 and 4. In the third year of life there are still many benefits of breastfeeding.

    Of course, it is your decision. Breastfeeding involves two people and you both need to be happy with the breastfeeding relationship continuing. It is more tiring when you are working too. I do appreciate that.

    One other advantage to consider if you did want to tandem breastfeed is that women who do so generally don't have any problems with breastfeeding the new baby.

    At age 35 a woman's fertility levels start to decrease more rapidly, although most women will certainly be able to get pregnant naturally. The issue is that both the quality and quantity of a woman's eggs decrease more significantly past this age. This means that certain syndromes are more likely (such as Down Syndrome) although is is still by far the most likely that you would have a healthy baby.

    Perhaps another issue to consider is, once you had two children, what if you wanted more - leaving bigger age gaps once you are in your mid thirties does make conceiving more difficult etc.

    Please do post back and let me know what you think.
    Warm wishes,
    LJ

  3. #3
    Thank you for sharing your experience, LJ. I had some health problems during my first pregnancy and I'm afraid the same will happen to my second pregnancy. I'm working and if it happens then I'm worried about how I will take care of my first child as I don't have a nanny or a helper to help me. However, considering that conceiving will be more difficult in mid thirties, I challenge myself to go on conceiving my second child soon. Hope I can find a helper later on.

  4. #4
    I do appreciate your concerns. It is more difficult being pregnant when you have other children to care for too. I wonder if I could ask what health problems you had in your first pregnancy so we could offer you some support with those?

    There is lots to think about with this but I wish you all the best with making this decision.

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

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