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28th May 2014 02:59 AM #1
- Join Date
- May 2014
Need suggestions for dealing with 9 year old who thinks he's a teenager
HELP : ) Ok my 9 year is about to become a big brother again. I have concerns as he is constantly acting out. Not in a physicial or abusive way just the way that he talks back and the sarcasm that comes out is getting to be a bit much. I have tried taking away things. His response was I don't care (secretly I know he does but still hard to deal with that answer) The last couple of months have been hard between homework issues ( smart boy but hates homework), being cranky with his younger brother etc... I thought I had a few more years before I had to deal with what I remember as teenage years. Any suggestions on creating a bit less stress around my house would be great. He's a good kid just need some advice for the days when he is like this because not much that I say or do matters right now to him.
17th June 2014 11:33 PM #2
Firstly, you are not alone - lots of parents go through a 'teenage problem' time earlier than expected. This is particularly the case with bright child who might develop quicker emotionally than their peers. It does sound this could be the case with your son.
How do you think he finds school? Is his homework interesting/ challenging enough? If not then you could talk to the school about meeting his interests/ intellect better or perhaps you could informally extend his homework questions/ studies yourself. I wonder if this would help him to become more motivated in this area.
Coupled with this your son is adapting to the idea of having a new baby - perhaps he has been told by well-meaning adults that he needs to be the grown up brother and he is not a little child anymore? He still needs to know that he is your little boy and he is not being 'pushed out' by the new baby's arrival. What does he say about the new baby? I would encourage you to organise weekly time you/ his dad can spend with your 9 year old one-on-one doing something he really enjoys (it needn't be expensive - spending time looking at a map together or taking photos together etc) so that he can look forward to this quality time.
In terms of resources for parenting teenagers gently and effectively, Dr. Sears has some excellent advice such as this article 8 Ways to Raise a Moral Child.
Also have a look at When Toddlers Become Teens by Little Hearts Gentle Parenting for an inspiring approach.
Let me know your thoughts.