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  1. #1
    New Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    11

    Spoiling my brother

    My brother, who is three years old, is the youngest in our family. He came when my mother was 40 years old. I am 18 years old and my sister is 17 because of that, he is the bub of the family. We all love to spoil him because of it.

    But recently, I noticed that he hits us if we don't give in to what he wants. For example, he wants to play with my computer, technically it's alright when I'm not doing anything but there are instances when I'm working on something and can't let him play with it. So my brother hits me.

    I'm worried that he's become spoiled because of us. What do you think should we do in this case?

  2. #2
    Dear Atrovel,

    It sounds like your brother hitting may be a cry for attention. I know you mentioned in a previous post that your parents are both working and you and your sister are studying. Having one-to-one time with an adult is really important at this age. If he is feeling frustrated and lacking in attention then he won't know how to express this and so may turn to hitting. Children also hit when they copy other behaviours they have seen - do you think this could be the case with your brother?

    Rather than worry if he is getting spoiled I would aim to give as much one-to-one attention as possible. Plan activities where you are really engaging with him and giving him time to express himself. I know you mentioned in another post you had some concerns about his speech and language development so this means that it is even more important that he is given lots of time to express how he is feeling.

    I would also recommend that an adult in your house makes time to enjoy three books a day with your brother. This has been shown to have huge benefits in terms of: bonding, helping with a child's attention span and behaviour and doing well at school when older.

    Another point to think about is that diet has an impact on a child's behaviour.

    Have a look at this gentle parenting article: When Children Hit - 10 Tips for Parents.

    Warm wishes,
    LJ

  3. #3
    New Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    11
    Dear LJ,

    Thank you for the advice. You see, my brother love watching Oggy and the Cockroaches and there's a lot of hitting involve in that. Maybe he got that from that? Still, I won't dispel the notion that we are also at fault for not giving him enough attention.

    Thank you again and God Bless!

    Regards,
    Atrovel

  4. #4
    Dear Atrovel,

    Please don't feel guilty. Having small children in the family is not easy and I know you are doing your best. It is a learning experience for everyone. I would steer clear of any programmes which showed hitting as I don't think that's helpful.

    Try some of the suggestions above and post back how you get on. Let us know how you get on and we can always post back other ideas.

    We are here to support you.
    Warm wishes,
    LJ

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