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  1. #1

    3 year old jealousy issues

    I have a 3 year old son and recently had our daughter (now 3 months). My son is showing increasing signs of jealousy. I've tried taking special time each day just to spend with him and making him feel extra important when he helps out but he is still acting up quite often and I'm at the end of my rope. Help?!

  2. #2
    My children always loved having a new baby in the house and I think that one of the reasons for this was because we relied on them to help with the baby. At 3 years, they were bringing me nappies and wipes, throwing the dirty nappy in the trash, sitting by baby and bouncing the bouncy seat, pushing the swing and and singing to baby to help her go to sleep.

    They were Mum's big helpers and I let them know how much I appreciated their help.

    I also snuggled them and read to them while I was breastfeeding baby. In as many ways as possible I tried to make them a part of everything I did with baby, so that they never felt like baby was taking my time away from them.

    You're doing great in trying to spend some time with him. Does he go to preschool? If so, that can make a child feel like they're being "booted out" while baby gets to stay home with mum (especially if they'd rather stay home with mum).

    Our children were always home with us, so we didn't have anyone who had to leave the home (i.e. preschool) when a new baby arrived.

    Warm regards,

    Kate

  3. #3
    I agree to try making your older child feel involved by making him your little helper. You can often ask your older child to grab you something when you need it or help you find something. Are you breastfeeding? When I was breastfeeding, my older children would feel a bit left out. We started using a special box that was only for breastfeeding times. The box could be filled with inexpensive toys, books, coloring books and crayons, or even toys that your child has not played with in a while. When you sit down to breastfeed, you can pull out the box and let your older child pick out something special to play with. If your child picks a book, you can all snuggle together and read. If your child picks a new toy, it may keep your little one occupied, so you have time to feed the baby. I found that the box was something my oldest child found really special and he enjoyed being able to pick out something new (even if it was just a toy that he had not played with in a while).

    I also think spending time your older child can help, as well. Even if you just go for a walk or play a game. The final thing I can say is to just give it a little more time. Each of my children has adjusted to a new sibling differently, but for some children it gets easier once the baby becomes older and more mobile. To some toddlers or older children, a baby doesn't seem to do much but cry, eat and sleep. They may have a difficult time understanding why the baby can't just play with them, but as the baby gets older and more mobile, they are able to play with each other.

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