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  1. #1

    Breastfeeding Disappointment

    Hello,

    I wanted to breastfeed my baby for at least 1 year, but after 2 weeks, I was met with much disappointment. My daughter no longer wanted to be breastfed and cried profusely when I tried to do so. I felt really bad and still think I missed out on an incredible bonding experience. I know there are other ways to bond, but I really wanted to breastfeed . Did I do something wrong, and how can I successfully breastfeed my future baby.

    Thanks so much.

    Fran

  2. #2
    Hi Fran,

    I'm sorry that your breastfeeding experience wasn't all you had hoped it would be, but there definitely is hope for next time!

    Can you share more about what happened? Do you know if your breast milk supply dropped so that baby wasn't getting enough? Was baby having a hard time attaching? Did your breasts become hard and engorged (which makes it hard for baby to attach)?

    If you can share more about what happened it would make it easier for us to give suggestion on how to have a more successful experience next time.

    You can also find a lot of information on the breastfeeding information page.

    Warm regards,

    Kate

  3. #3
    Thanks for your reply Kate. Now to answer your questions:

    "Do you know if your breast milk supply dropped so that baby wasn't getting enough? "

    I am thinking that could have been a possibility. I didn't breastfeed at night, I only gave her bottle with formula.

    "Was baby having a hard time attaching? Did your breasts become hard and engorged (which makes it hard for baby to attach)?"

    I don't think she was having a hard time attaching and when my breast got engorged I would use a breast pump sometimes. She would also refuse the breast milk when I gave it in a bottle. I should also mention that my menses came back the 4th week after giving birth.


    Is it possible that it was a change in hormones that caused that?

    Thanks
    Fran

  4. #4
    Did you give baby anything other than breast milk in the first 2 weeks, before she started refusing the breast? Water? Sweet water? Formula? Juice?

    Did you introduce a dummy/pacifier to her before she started refusing the breast?

    Thanks for answering my questions - I want to try to narrow down the cause.

    Warm regards,

    Kate

  5. #5
    You mentioned that you didn't breastfeed at night. Did you do that since her birth? (You only gave formula at night?) That would definitely cause your supply to drop. It is recommended to not introduce bottles until at least six weeks after birth, and to only supplement with expressed milk, if possible. Milk production works on supply and demand, so the more you breastfeed the baby, the more milk you will make. Your milk supply is established during the first few months of breastfeeding, so it is very important to only breastfeed during that time. For every bottle you give, you need to express milk to ensure your supply won't drop. A newborn baby should be breastfeeding at least eight to twelve times per day. Your menstrual cycle returning could also cause a slight decrease in milk supply.

    I am sorry that you had such a difficult time with breastfeeding and I do understand feeling sad that you were unable to breastfed longer. With more information and help, you may have been able to breastfeed longer, but I would try not to worry about it or feel guilty (I know that can be difficult). I only breastfed one of my children for a few months, and while I do still feel sad for the bond we lost, I did learn from the experience. I made a choice that was best for my baby and myself at the time, and I could have done things differently, but I did learn how to do things differently. I did start wearing my little one in a carrier, which really helped us both feel close to one another and seemed to help with missing the breastfeeding bond.

  6. #6
    Dear Fran,

    I am really sorry that you are disappointed with your breastfeeding experience. Please try not to feel guilty as you clearly want the best for your little girl.

    I think there is often a lack of breastfeeding information given to women during pregnancy. This is certainly what I experienced: I did not feel prepared for breastfeeding. Hopefully forums like this can help to support women wherever they are in the breastfeeding journey.

    It is possible that your daughter experienced 'nipple confusion' because she was fed from a bottle at night. This is where baby's get confused between drinking from a bottle and the breast (as the technique required for each is quite different). If you are thinking about breastfeeding in future pregnancies then I would thoroughly recommend seeking help from a Lactation Consultant. I needed help from such a professional and I honestly don't think I would have been able to continue breastfeeding without this support.

    The best way to establish breastfeeding is to feed on demand through the day and night without using any artificial devices. However, breastfeeding does not come 'naturally' for a lot of women, especially when they are dealing with increased demands of having a newborn baby. I'm sorry that you didn't have extra support. As I said earlier, please don't make yourself feel guilty. Also, think of the benefits the breast milk your baby received in the first two weeks: that is something to be proud of.

    In terms of breastfeeding future children, I also found that keeping my baby near to me at pretty much all times helped us to establish a good bond and me to know when he needed feeding. I found co-sleeping and baby wearing great for this.

    With best wishes,

    LJ

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