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  1. #1
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    My bay is jealous on anything that close to me.

    Hello,

    My 4 year old daughter is so jealous. My husband tried to hug me or just be close while watching movie, right a way my daughter will sit in the middle and hug me. When i play or pet our dog, she will hug me and she won't let me pet our dog. when people are around and talking to me, she will interrupt and says it's my mom then hug me. I always say it's okay baby, mommy is just talking. But most of the time she feel sad.

    I don't know what to do, for my daughter not to feel i am pushing her away .

    Thank you,
    Jane
    Last edited by Chilou; 5th May 2012 at 03:00 AM.

  2. #2
    She will grow out of it. Do not worry, all children are like this at some point or another. If you are concerned, you may want to start letting her stay with a baysitter on ocassion or bringing her on activities where she can socialize with others more frequently.

  3. #3
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    Hello mom2many,
    Shes in the daycare right now. And she does well with the kids. She's good in interacting, but when i am around she act like she need to be always around me. I sneak on her when i pick her up in daycare, she plays along with the kids, when she saw me she just stay with me. She plays a bit but within my reach.

  4. #4
    Hi Chilou,

    I just wanted to reassure you that I agree with mom2many. Many children can want to have all their focus of their mum's attention when they are with them but are then happy to play with other children or adults when mum is out of the room/ not with them. This will also change as she gets older.

    Best wishes,

    LJ

  5. #5
    Hi Chilou,

    It sounds to me as if your daughter actually needs more of your attention. If she's getting in the middle of you and your husband or you and the dog, she may be feeling insecure. Being in child care can cause insecurity. I saw this first hand when I was the Office Manager of a preschool for nearly 6 years.

    The children who had the best relationships with their parents were the ones who had parents that were very involved with their children. I'd encourage you to make special time for your daughter. If she's in child care full time, there isn't much time each day for quality one on one time. Too often children are picked up from child care around dinner time, and as soon as they get home, they're shuffled off to do something on their own, while mum prepares dinner.

    Then it's dinner time, and clean up time (often the children are not a part of the entire clean up time) and then bath and bed, so they can get up early the next morning to get ready before they are dropped off at child care.

    I'd encourage you to spend as much time with your daughter as possible, and most likely, once she's had her fill, you will not see the abnormal behavior of be jealous of the time you spend focusing on others (talking to a friend, hugging dad, petting the dog).

    Have your daughter help prepare dinner and talk to her about her day while you do this. She can set the table, pour rice in a pan, put the lid on the pan, mix things, etc. Find the things she can do, and though it may take you a little longer to prepare the meal, she will feel connected and valued.

    Let me know your thoughts on this. Take a look at your average Monday through Friday routine. Do you feel that you are giving your daughter the one on one (without distraction) attention that she needs?

    Warm regards,

    Kate

  6. #6
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    Wow that is so great Kate.
    We let her help prepare dinner once in a while, and she love to do dishes. When it is weekend we do family time with the dog, and goes to the park. And I agree with you with what you said. When she gets home from daycare, most of the time daddy is letting her practice reading and piano rehearsal before dinner. And I do drawing and counting with her after dinner. We don't really have enough time together, when you think about it. I need to work more on having more time with her.

    Thank you so much Kate. I really really appreciate it.
    Jane

  7. #7
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    Hello ljmarsden,

    Thank you for the information.

    Jane
    Last edited by Chilou; 17th May 2012 at 04:52 AM.

  8. #8
    I'm glad the responses helped.

    Let us know how you get on,

    LJ

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