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  1. #1

    Unhappy Getting pregnant at the age of 45

    I have 2 kids, the eldest is already 22 and the youngest is 8; at present I am already 45 yet, I still want to get pregnant and have a baby. However, all of my friends and cousins who are nurses are trying to prevent me from getting pregnant because according to them, getting pregnant at my age is already a high risk. Nevertheless, my desire to get pregnant is still strong, because I have a friend who got pregnant at the age of 47. Can you give me advice what to do? Shall I pursue my desire to get pregnant or not?

  2. #2
    Hi,

    I am sorry you have chosen the name 'unhappy mum'. Is the main reason you are feeling unhappy your desire to have another baby or are there other reasons? I hope we can help to support you on this forum.

    I am afraid that the main reason why it is difficult to have a baby in your mid/late forties is the chance of getting pregnant. The chance of successfully conceiving is around 5% at age 45. So it is still possible but the chance unfortunately decreases each year. This is largely because the number of a woman's eggs decrease. Unfortunately the quality of the eggs also increases - which is why the chance of Down's syndrome tends to increase with age. There is a very useful post by Jane about conceiving in your 40s here.

    I hope this has not sounded more negative than you expected. As you say, your friend did get pregnant at 47 and some women, like your friend, do have happy and successful pregnancies at this age.

    Please post back let us know how you are doing.

    Best wishes,

    LJ

  3. #3
    Hello LJ,

    Thank you for sharing your ideas, it somehow lift a burden off my shoulder. Nevertheless, the reason I am unhappy involved lots of factors and having another baby is one of those, I do want to have another baby. Yet I am also scared to take the risk; considering that taking care of normal kids is quite difficult how much more, if I will be taking care of a special child. These really make me sad, thinking of the consequence if I will indeed get pregnant.
    Anyway, I appreciate you for replying, the very fact that someone is out there willing to listen is more than enough.

  4. #4
    Dear unhappymum,

    I'm so sorry to hear you are unhappy which is, in part, due to you wanting another baby.

    I know my story is different to yours, but I can remember just how badly I wanted a baby after I had sadly lost my first pregnancy during a miscarriage. I felt desperate for a baby.

    At age 45, the chance of having a child with Down's Syndrome is 1 in 32 - this is a 3% risk. So it is still far more likely that you would have a child who does not have Down's Syndrome (it's just a significantly higher chance than for younger mums). I think it is wise to consider the risks though.

    If you are still thinking of trying to conceive then you could try some Preconception Care as this will mean that your body is at it's most healthy and this can help the health of your baby.

    We are here to support you on this forum - please don't hesitate to post back how you are feeling.

    Best wishes,

    LJ

  5. #5
    I'm in the same dilemna ... I'm now 38 and turning 39 this year. We'd love to have another kid as soon as possible since my eldest is already 3. I've heard a lot of stories that it's dangerous to get pregnant past the age of 35. Had my 1st child when I was 34. What are the complications or risks of getting pregnant at this age, even if I've already had my first born before the age of 35?

  6. #6
    Hi Erika,

    Welcome to the forum.

    I believe the increased risks with pregnancy when you are over 35 years old are the same whether or not you already had a child before you were 35. The main difficulty with having a child in your late 30s is conceiving. However, you can help to increase your chances by having sex regularly and by preconception care.

    In your late 30s (compared to under the age of 35 years old) you have an increased chance of getting diabetes during pregnancy and also of getting placentia previa. However, lots of women at this age do have trouble-free pregnancies. Unfortunately, the risk of miscarriage and of having a baby with Down's Syndrome also increases.

    I wish you and your family all the best,

    LJ

  7. #7
    Hi Erika,

    As LJ mentioned, studies have shown that risk of miscarriage and having a baby with a congenital defect does increase as the maternal age increases.

    However, there have been plenty of women who have had absolutely normal pregnancies and have given birth to healthy babies, even in their 40's.

    It's true that as you get older, it can become much more difficult to conceive.

    However you can improve your chances of conceiving a healthy child with good preconception care. You'll want to focus on making sure you are getting optimal nutrition by eating a fertility friendly diet and taking supplements that improve fertility which are super important at your age.

    Support your body's ability to create a healthy baby by seeing an acupuncturist and/or chiropractor or CranioSacral Osteopath.

    I gave birth to a baby with a congenital heart defect when I was in my mid 30's, and I gave birth to two healthy babies after that, the last just a month shy of my 41st birthday. So in my case, the studies didn't prove to be true. It truly does have a lot do with nutrition, and after the birth of my 3rd child with the congenital heart defect, I started working with my nutritionist. That was a stressful time for me due to his open heart surgery when he was just 2 months old, and then ICU care, etc. My adrenals took a big hit after his birth, which affected my ability to conceive my 4th child (which I tried for a year for) but when I was finally able to conceive, she was healthy. I did a lot more nutritionally during the year that my body was not ovulating and I believe that all that work I did during that year helped to prepare the egg for conception when it was released.

    Hope this helps,

    Warm regards,

    Kate

  8. #8

    2 month short to be 45 & half...want another baby :( Am I crazy?

    So..I have a 14yrs old daughter & a 7 yrs old son with my ex husband.
    The day my ex signed the divorce papers (after a painful process that took over 3 years), that VERY SAME day I reconnected with my first German bf (I'm from Argentina) of 22 yrs ago...to make the story short, he answered back, came to "see" how we got along this time, how would it be with the kids, this was almost 2 years ago & we are still together ... He was never married and has no kids. We do have a really young soul/body/spirit (i mean..everyone thinks I'm 32...ALWAYS!) and he has mentioned several times the fact that we are still young & he has time to be a father...I never thought about another baby but now...I'm so crazy with the idea & realized that we could have conceived this month...will know end of the month & until then...it's my little secret & hope I know he doesn't have any kids because it was his choice, but I also know he will be thrilled if I do get pregnant! I don't know...am I crazy to want a baby now? to start all over again? I feel I owe him the right to be a father...specially because of the beauty of our relationship...22 years later and we love each other like crazy, he loves my kids & is raising them as his own...Honestly, I wish the hpt will be + by the end of the month. OK everyone...THANKS for lending your eyes & allow me to share

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