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  1. #1
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    May 2012
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    Thinking of having second child

    I'm a stay at home mum with my 18 month old son. My husband and I have been discussing having another baby. I know there's really no perfect timing, but should we wait to our son become more independent or at least potty trained?

  2. #2
    You're actually at a great place to try for another baby. I actually find it a lot easier to have 2 children in diapers at the same time than to have one that's potty trained and an infant. The reason for this is because when I'm out and about, if a child has to go to the lu, it's not easy for me to find a clean bathroom, take my infant into the area with the lu, put the paper down on the seat, lift the child onto the seat, wipe them, button them back up, wash hands, etc. It's hard to do when you have a little one in tow. Instead... if they're still in diapers, I just change a dirty diaper if needed (after the age of 2, they don't have a dirty diaper very often - maybe only once or twice a day), and if they need to wet, they can wet in their diaper and I just change them when we get home. MUCH easier than trying to get them to a potty, with baby in tow.

    And - as for being home, it's just not that hard to change a wet diaper periodically, throughout the day. As for the dirty ones, they don't happen all the time. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that waiting until a child is potty trained really is not a good deciding factor. As long as you have a good relationship with your husband and you're happy, I'd encourage you to start trying for your next baby now.

    My first two children are 19 months apart, and they are best friends - always have been (and they're in college now). Growing up with a sibiling that is close in age has a lot of benefits - and for Mum and Dad, having two that are close in age means that you'll be doing a lot of the same things, rather than having to do some things with the older child, and some things with the younger child.

    If you have some other concerns I'd love to hear them. But if it's truly just trying to figure out the best time to have a 2nd child, your son will be plenty independent at almost 2 1/2 years of age. He will be able to climb into his car seat, bring you diapers, give the baby his pacifier (if he uses and loses it), throw dirty diapers away - he will be a big help to you and you will give him the blessing have having a sibling about his own age, to play with. It's a good thing :-)

    Here's a good article called "Babies Second Time Around". You might find it interesting as well.

    Warm regards,

    Kate
    Last edited by 5Homebirths4Kate; 13th May 2012 at 01:54 AM.

  3. #3
    New Member

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    May 2012
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    7

    Lightbulb Thanks for the reply

    Quote Originally Posted by 5Homebirths4Kate View Post
    You're actually at a great place to try for another baby. I actually find it a lot easier to have 2 children in diapers at the same time than to have one that's potty trained and an infant. The reason for this is because when I'm out and about, if a child has to go to the lu, it's not easy for me to find a clean bathroom, take my infant into the area with the lu, put the paper down on the seat, lift the child onto the seat, wipe them, button them back up, wash hands, etc. It's hard to do when you have a little one in tow. Instead... if they're still in diapers, I just change a dirty diaper if needed (after the age of 2, they don't have a dirty diaper very often - maybe only once or twice a day), and if they need to wet, they can wet in their diaper and I just change them when we get home. MUCH easier than trying to get them to a potty, with baby in tow.

    And - as for being home, it's just not that hard to change a wet diaper periodically, throughout the day. As for the dirty ones, they don't happen all the time. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that waiting until a child is potty trained really is not a good deciding factor. As long as you have a good relationship with your husband and you're happy, I'd encourage you to start trying for your next baby now.

    My first two children are 19 months apart, and they are best friends - always have been (and they're in college now). Growing up with a sibiling that is close in age has a lot of benefits - and for Mum and Dad, having two that are close in age means that you'll be doing a lot of the same things, rather than having to do some things with the older child, and some things with the younger child.

    If you have some other concerns I'd love to hear them. But if it's truly just trying to figure out the best time to have a 2nd child, your son will be plenty independent at almost 2 1/2 years of age. He will be able to climb into his car seat, bring you diapers, give the baby his pacifier (if he uses and loses it), throw dirty diapers away - he will be a big help to you and you will give him the blessing have having a sibling about his own age, to play with. It's a good thing :-)

    Here's a good article called "Babies Second Time Around". You might find it interesting as well.

    Warm regards,

    Kate
    Thanks Kate,
    I really appreciate you reply. You highlighted a few very enlightening and reasonable points. I haven't thought about the diaper and activity situation like that. Thanks for your help.

  4. #4
    Thanks for sharing that article about having a second baby Kate - I certainly found it reassuring! For example, it says labour is likely to be twice as fast with a second baby and women also generally find breastfeeding easier to establish with their baby.

    wc_084 : I have a 17 month old son and am 16 weeks pregnant with our second baby. We would like to have a fairly big family so that's one reason why we went for this age gap. Also, I treasure the close relationship I have with my siblings (I am 21 months older than my brother, and him the same with my sister) and this is something I think is important for my son and our future children.

    Whenever you have a baby, it will never be the 'ideal time' in the sense that there will be struggles and particular difficulties with any age gap. But I feel that the benefits to the siblings of having each other close in age far outweigh this!

    Also, I think myself and my husband are in 'baby mode' at the moment - I am still breastfeeding and co-sleeping and, for us, we want to have our next baby when we are still in this way of living.

    Good luck with whatever you choose,

    LJ

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