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  1. #1

    Unhappy How To Keep my 8 year-old son from addictive computer games

    My problem with my son's over-indulgence with computer games is already getting worst these days. It gets me worried since all of his grades decreased. Considering that he is my only son and the only kid in our house, I allowed him to play computer games every time I'm done with my laptop. At first, I can still control him, but lately I noticed that when I tell him to quit the game and work on his assignment, he always displayed an uncontrollable tantrums. On top of this, all of his grades decreased; I am now alarmed with this behavior change as well as the decrease of his academic grades. I am now confused, I don't know what to do, to keep him away from these addictive computer games. Can you help me find a solution to keep my son away from this computer games as well as his gaming consoles without offending him? I would appreciate it so much if you can help me.

  2. #2
    Hello UnHaPpYmUm,

    It sounds like you've got a challenge on your hands, but I'd like to commend you because you recognize that there's a problem and you're seeking a solution rather than trying to ignore it. I'd like to offer you hope, because all is not lost, and I believe that if you work with your son you'll end up with a really good relationship of love and respect, and that's what's most important. From there, we work on changing poor behavior and poor habits.

    Your 8 year old is not old enough to make wise choices for himself yet, and as you're seeing, his ways of controlling the situation so that he gets what he wants (thus making decisions for himself) are destructive. His inability to control himself is not only affecting his grades, but it's affecting those around him too.

    Take heart in knowing that you can make good, positive changes at the age of 8 (it would be much harder at the age of 13) and I'm happy to offer some suggestions.

    I'd like to know a little more about him and about your situation at home, first, so that I can offer the best suggestions for your unique situation.

    Please let me know what your work schedule is like. If you work from home, how much time do you HAVE to spend concentrating on work each day. If you work away from home, how much time are you away?

    Is your child away from home for school and/or activities? If so, how many hours is he away from home and during which part of the day (i.e. he's gone from 8AM-3PM M-F, and has soccer practice from 10-12 on Saturdays, and is in Sunday School from 10-11 on Sundays). What I want to see here, is how much time he is away from you, and how much time is available for you to work with him.

    The other thing I'd like you to do is to read this post that I wrote called Understanding Personalities Makes for a Happy Family.

    I want you to try to tell me which personality trait(s) best describes each person living in your home. You, your son, and anyone else living in the home or having a lot of contact with him each week.

    One final thing - I'd like you to describe a typical "day in the life" of your son and a typical "day in the life" of you. What does your daily routine look like now? Not what you want it to be, but what it typically has been in the past couple of weeks.

    Once I get a general sense of what family life is like, I'll know better how to give suggestions that will be helpful and truly make a difference in your relationship with your son.

    Warm regards,

    Kate

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