I am having an inner-battle with myself regarding my delivery. When I first became pregnant I wanted to have a home water birth. Then I decided I wasn't comfortable enough to do so. I was then dead-set on not having any pain medication (i.e. epidural). Now that I am almost 9 months pregnant and I have felt pregnancy pains, I am afraid that I will be unable to handle the labour pains. Along with this, I am extremely afraid of the feeling of numbness. Being numb makes me unreasonably anxious, it is almost like it is a phobia of mine.
My husband and I have decided that our number one concern during delivery is that every one in the room (my husband, my mother, and myself) are calm and relaxed. Again-if I am in pain, will I be calm? If I am numb, will I be calm? I think the answer is no to both of these.
What are things I can do to make my labour easy, relaxing, and calm-even if it is in the hospital?