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Thread: Young, Pregnant, and Unsure
23rd June 2012 04:30 AM #1
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
Young, Pregnant, and Unsure
My name is Adaline and I am around 24 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My experience has been unique, unlike many mums I was not able to get excited and spread the news of my upcoming baby because I am young, unmarried and I knew my parents would greatly disapprove. I actually hid my pregnancy until about two weeks ago.
Despite hiding my pregnancy, I have been eating very healthy foods since I found out. I have abstained from smoking, alcohol, caffeine, and sweets. I was not sure until recently if I wanted to keep this baby or give it up for adoption, but what I did know is that I wanted it to have the best start possible.
I finally decided that I want to keep the baby. My parents were angry with me at first, though I think a lot of their anger had to do with waiting so long to tell them anything. I have an appointment next week for a scan and checkup to make sure the little one is healthy.
The only problem is that I am afraid that something might be wrong with my baby since I have not seen an OB this whole time. I am also still apprehensive about becoming a mum. I am only 18. The father is completely out of the picture and doesn't know anything about the pregnancy. I was hoping to find some reassurance and positive stories on this forum. I hope that speaking with some other open-minded mums will help me to figure out what to do next and fill me with the confidence that I can do this.
23rd June 2012 08:32 AM #2
Hello Adaline and a very warm welcome to our forums.
You're definitely in the right place as there are not only a number of professionals who can answer your "pregnancy" related questions, but you'll also find yourself supported by very warm and caring mums, some of whom have been in your shoes.
To tell you a little about me... When I was in my 20's, I worked in a Pregnancy Care center where I came along side and supported women who found themselves with an unexpected pregnancy. One woman I worked very closely with, was a single young lady who decided to keep her baby. I was blessed to be able to visit her in the hospital shortly after giving birth, and her son was absolutely precious. She was very happy too.
I've found that most parents are angry when they first find out about their unwed daughter's pregnancy, but I've also found that this diminishes with time, and if they haven't come to terms with it by the time baby is due, that their hearts just melt with love, when they hold their grandchild for the first time. This IS their grandchild, just as much as it's your child, and if you choose to keep your baby, you will be giving your parents a very special gift, even if they can't see it right now.
Raising your child by yourself will present some challenges, but the challenges can always be overcome. You'll find we have lots of ideas on how to overcome specific challenges, when you need them. Just ask
You were wise to stop any smoking, alcohol, caffeine and sweets when you found out you were pregnant. You obviously want what's best for your child and I commend you for this.
I want to put any fears aside that you may have, that something may be wrong with the baby since you have not had any prenatal appointments yet. Most pregnancies progress with no problems - all 5 of mine did. The only thing I had towards the end of my pregnancies was that I became low in iron, so I ate lots of spinach and took some chlorophyll to bring my iron level up. Doctors will often prescribe an iron supplement for women who are low in iron (anemic).
You will love hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time next week, and seeing your baby during the ultrasound scan. It may even bring tears to your eyes. I did not find out whether I was having a boy or a girl with my first 4 bubs, but I wanted to know what I was having with the 5th. I am SO glad I found out with that pregnancy because I was able to bond with her a lot more before she was born. I even bought some things for her. I have a friend who found out what she was having with her last pregnancy, and she named her daughter and called her by name before she was born. She was so bonded to that baby by the time she arrived. It was beautiful to watch. If you want it to be a surprise that's great - I did that 4 times, but if you're not sure, or you're considering finding out, I would encourage you to find out at this scan because I think it will give you a little extra boost in the bonding process and will help you to become more excited about the precious child you are already nurturing and caring for.
I would highly recommend that you start taking a high quality prenatal vitamin supplement as soon as possible. You're now in the stage of your pregnancy where baby will be requiring more and more nutrients to build larger bones. Baby is growing more quickly now, you are producing more amniotic fluid, and having some added nutrients will benefit you both.
Here's an excellent article that discusses safe eating and drinking before and during pregnancy.
And here's a page with some high quality supplements that can be very helpful during pregnancy.
I see that you've asked some other questions in the forums and I look forward to reading those as well.
Please post back with any thoughts or comments as we would all would enjoy supporting you throughout your very special journey into motherhood.
2nd July 2012 01:38 PM #3
I just wanted to check in to see how you're doing. Would love an update when you have the chance. How are you feeling?
12th November 2012 04:39 AM #4
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
Thank you for checking in on me! My little one was born on October 30th. I was a few days overdue, according to the ultrasound but labour started naturally and I had a very spiritual, medication-free delivery. In fact I showed up to the hospital ready to push and she was born thirty minutes later.
My mother and father are helping me with the baby right now, and have been very supportive so far. I am breastfeeding, we have been resting for the last few weeks, and I am so happy that I made the choice to keep my little one. Her name is Charlie, after my dad Charles. She has big brown eyes and dark black hair. I am completely and totally in love.
Thank you Kate so much for taking the time to respond and even check up on me. It is greatly appreciated!
12th November 2012 10:13 AM #5
I am happy that you decided to keep your baby too. As you're experiencing, children are an incredible blessing to mothers, and you have blessed your parents with this Grandchild too. Often it's hard for parents when they initially learn the news of an unplanned pregnancy, but every single one I've ever heard of fell in love with their Grandchild when he/she was born. Sounds like this may be the case for your parents as well.
So glad you are totally in love with her and that your parents are helping you with her. I'm confident that your parents will continue to support you in your role as mother if you take that role seriously. You are her mother and therefore you will want to raise her which means spending as much time as possible with her. This also means that you may have to forgo some social activities, but it will be so worth it over the next few years.
Please post back periodically and let us know how you're doing. How is the breastfeeding going? Are you comfortable or experiencing any pain? We've got lots of breastfeeding experience here and are happy to offer tips as needed.
13th November 2012 02:48 AM #6
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
I am so happy to hear that you decided to keep your little one! Motherhood is at times very difficult, but always worth it. I would love to hear more from you and help in anyway. You have found a great resource in this group, which is packed with experienced mothers always willing to offer advice.
5th January 2013 02:35 PM #7
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
I came across your thread and just had to respond. I want you to know that no matter how hard things might get sometimes that there is always someone out there that wants to help and support you. Family can be difficult, but the difficulties are only coming out of love. It is hard to see many times because they mean so much to us and all we want is their approval. There are truly caring people on this site so post anytime you desire!