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  1. #1

    My second child is so insecure!

    I really wondered why does my second child or my second daughter always seemed to get jealous with her younger sisters. She seemed like she doesn't want them especially on my third child. Got problematic on how to solve this kind of situations. She wants my attention to be always on her only. I hope, I could gain some of your ideas on how to handle things like this.

  2. #2
    Your daughter may be feeling like she's simply not getting enough of your attention. Your son probably receives more attention simply because he is deaf. Your baby gets more attention simply because she's 1 and you're still breastfeeding, changing and caring for her a lot.

    If your daughter is a sensitive child she may be picking up on this more than you are. I'd try to make some special "mommy and me" time just with her each day. This could be baking cookies with you, or having her help you with dinner. In fact she's at an age now where she can probably do more in the kitchen with you than the 9 year old can. So that would be a good place to start with.

    Let her know that you need her help with preparing the meals. Then teach her how to use sharp knives (she can do this at 11) and how to do everything in the kitchen. Have her work along side you, grating the cheese, peeling potatoes, cooking the rice, cutting up chicken, etc. Compliment her often on how well she is doing and let her know that you really appreciate her help.

    My guess is that once she starts to see how much you appreciate her help, and at the same time that you're spending more time with her, the insecurity will diminish.

    Let me know what you think of this idea. I can give more ideas too, if needed.

    Warm regards,

    Kate

  3. #3
    Dear Kate,

    I think you're right. I will do your suggestions and see if this will help
    lighten my burden on this. I will keep you posted with this and
    will still seek advise if this will not work on us.

    Hoping,

    havingaprincess

  4. #4
    Hello HavingAPrincess,

    Have you tried making some special time for your daughter - is she helping you in the kitchen more? Please update and let us know how it is going.

    Warm regards,

    Kate

  5. #5
    Just wanted to say, I have dealt with these same issues within my own family. Creating a special time for each child, on a recurring basis, is one of the best ways that I have found to deal with it. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant either. Take them to the park, for a walk, or simply let them accompany you to the market.

    Older children deal with a lot of jealousy and resentment issues in large families. It is just part of the territory. Making sure that the entire family is getting adequate care and attention generally helps to alleviate the issue.

    Looking forward to an update!

    -Angela

  6. #6
    I agree with Angela. I've dealt with some jealousy issues with my 10 year old and I've found that just taking her to the store with me (without the other children) or having her help me with a special project helps to change her attitude from being resentful to being happy and helpful.

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