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Thread: confused father

  1. #1

    confused father

    My husband, well he is away from us. He is actually in a 6 hour drive province away from us. Now, my daughter used to be like a "daddy's girl". Not until, he seldom calls, video chat or sometimes it takes a month to visit us. I do not know how to control my daughter's emotions. She is just two but she really is mad. She would slap her dad on his face or kick. She doesn't like him to be here with us. Am I over reacting? I am not sure. I am confused. A month ago, they were so close. She would sleep beside her dad and will really show gentle love to him. My daughter doesn't hurt others. She is very sweet and gentle. Now, I do not know why she acts like that way. Thanks for your help.

  2. #2
    It sounds like your daughter is becoming more aware of the fact that her daddy is not always with you (and her). If she feels close to him while he is there, she will feel a deeper sense of loss/pain while he is away.

    It could be that she becomes adjusted when he is away, and then when he comes back she remembers the pain she experienced when he left last time, and she acts out by hitting and being mad because she doesn't like him to leave.

    I would encourage you to not have expectations that your daughter will respond lovingly to her daddy if he has been away for more than a day or two. Let daddy know that it may take her awhile to warm up to him. One of the best things you can do is to be keenly aware of how she is reacting when daddy shows up, and if she clings to you or just wants you to hold her, that you act just like you would if a stranger were showing up for the first time. Give her the reassurance that it's okay and you can be her main source of comfort until SHE decides to make the first move towards your husband.

    Your husband can talk kindly to her but not overly try to get her to go to him. If you do this for a few hours and your daughter sees that you are comfortable and happy to have him home, she will slowly warm up to him too.

    Please post back and let me know how this works for you all next time he comes home.

    Warm regards,

    Kate

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