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Thread: having another child
27th August 2012 07:51 AM #1
having another child
My eldest is turning two. I do not want to believe in terrible two, but somehow, even if she is so sweet and gentle, she would still show actions that I can see from terrible two kids. Now, I really wish to have a baby boy to compromise my children's gender. But I am having another girl. My concern is, I am trying to reduce her milk intake. But, I am afraid that she might feel that I am giving more milk to her new sister. You know, like reducing hers to give to her sister... I am not sure if I am just scared.. but, yes I am. I am not sure how to handle it. Their difference is just two years. I really hope that you can help me.
27th August 2012 10:21 AM #2
Are you still breastfeeding your 2 year old? If so, you can breastfeed your new little one at the same time that you breastfeed your baby, or you can offer the breast to your new baby and then offer it to the 2 year old.
My guess is that it won't be the milk that she misses as much as it will be the closeness. You can also snuggle your 2 year old and read her a book or tell her a story while you're breastfeeding the baby.
LJ is also breastfeeding a child and expecting another, and she will likely be tandem breastfeeding too.
Does this help answer your question?
29th August 2012 06:29 AM #3
As Kate says I have a (20 month old) toddler who still enjoys breastfeeding and am 31 weeks pregnant with number two. I believe it is right for me to continue to feed my toddler because of the health benefits he continues to get from the breast milk (as recommended by the World Health Organisation) and the wonderful emotional and social benefits it gives him through bonding in this way.
However, I understand your concerns. Whilst I am still breastfeeding, I have adapted some parts of our routine in preparation for the new baby's arrival. This is because I did not want to wait until the baby arrived and then suddenly make extra changes that could make him feel like the new baby is now the only object of our attention and love (when, of course, it will be both of my children). Therefore, I have stopped feeding him to sleep and I/my husband now cuddle him to sleep.
This has been a huge change for us all as for 18 months I fed him to sleep each night. If I'm honest, I miss it - but I do love the increased cuddling time! I wanted my toddler to be happy and confident with falling asleep without feeding as I know with a newborn as well I wouldn't always be able to feed him. We used a very gentle approach to transitioning to this as explained in the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.
I plan to carry on feeding my toddler for as long as he wants to alongside feeding the new baby (i.e. tandem breastfeeding) but obviously the new baby will be spending a lot more time on the breast than my toddler as he is only having around 1-2 feeds a day now. I have been recommended the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower by other tandem feeding mums I know.
Having a new baby is a big change for the whole family and I am certainly feeling that too. I am giving my toddler lots of patience and explanations about what is happening. We have recently brought him a dolly and play buggy so he can start to practice playing with the baby. Some toddlers like to pretend to feed/look after their dolls whilst you are caring for your newborn.
With best wishes to you and your family,
2nd September 2012 10:07 AM #4
I think it's wonderful how you are making this gradual transition with your toddler, to your new baby's arrival.
Can it be that you only have about 5 more weeks and then you'll be seeing your midwife every week? Seems like just the other day you were sharing that you were pregnant! That transition to once a week checks always impressed upon me just how close I actually was to having a new little one in my arms.
You mentioned that you are no longer breastfeeding your son to sleep. So when do you breastfeed him? First thing in the morning, or is it more like when he just climbs up into your lap and "asks"?
I think it's wonderful that you bought your son a little buggy and dolly. Will be interesting to see how he takes to it. My first son was always very loving, caring and nurturing to his younger siblings, and still is (he's in college now, but he has an 8 year old sister whom he still is very caring towards).
I'm confident your son will not show signs of jealousy as you're going to great lengths to be sure he knows he's very loved. I didn't have any jealousy issues with any of my children, but I always included them in everything and I think that made a huge difference.