Can my wife and I have sex during her pregnancy?Question Asked by Hans24 on our forum:

Can my wife and I have sexual intercourse during pregnancy? My wife is on her 4th month now. I really don’t know if this question is allowed. But we are seriously concerned to this. Every now and then, my wife sees tiny spots of blood on her underwear after intercourse. Is this because of that? Is this normal? Are we doing something wrong? Hans

Responses from forum members

Response 16th July 2012 by MumO’Three

Hello there Hans24,

I bet that you are a first-time parent-to-be and one who I believe is a young father. Aside from welcoming you into the world of parenting – birth and beyond, I would like to tell you about my own experience with regards to having sexual intercourse while pregnant.

Many say it is quite natural or that it is fine to have sex even while the woman is pregnant. These are, I believe, case to case basis. I for my part have experienced having intercourse, excuse me for opening it up, with my husband. However, same as with what happened to your wife, I had spots or some teaspoonful of blood in my undies. We actually did not mind it the first time, but when it happened on the third or fourth, we decided to ask the doctor – considering the fact that I was bearing our firstborn.

When the obstetrician told us that my cervix was “open” or that I might have a miscarriage, she advised us that I should be admitted right after that check-up. I stayed in the hospital for a week. When we asked the doctor, what could have possibly triggered to the bleeding or spotting, she mentioned about my urinary tract infection and that having intercourse while being pregnant or during the first and second trimester of my pregnancy were possibilities. And so we decided to stop or else we’ll lose our baby. That simple.

As for you two young couples though, it would be advisable that you seek help from your doctor first before doing any steps.

Hope that by sharing my experience, you can get some ideas on the subject matter.

Response 16th July 2012 from Hans24

Thank you for your reply MumO’Three,

Yes, I am a first time parent to be, and another yes for being a young father. I can say that even though we have an doctor that does check up on my wife, we are still clueless about this experience.

I should say that this is quite alarming! I am thinking of setting up an appointment with our doctor as soon as tomorrow. I was hoping that there is nothing to worry about. But as to what your experience taught you, I am greatly considering your advice. Thank you so much Ma’am.

Response 22nd July 2012 from 5Homebirths4Kate

Hi Hans,

MumO’Three shared an excellent experience with you. The semen acts as a prostaglandin on the cervix and can actually cause it to soften which, in turn, can bring on labour.

However, most women have absolutely no problem having sex throughout their pregnancy.

In your situation I would have your wife checked to be sure she’s not dilating at all and to be sure everything looks normal. If the doctor is concerned he will tell you not to ejaculate in her.

However, if the doctor is not concerned, then you may just want to penetrate more shallowly so that your penis does not hit her cervix.

I would check with the midwife or doctor, though, just to be sure everything is progressing normally. Please post back and let us know what you learn.

Warm regards,

Kate

Response 25th July 2012 from MumO’Three

Hello there Hans and Kate,

I am glad to know that you took the advice to seek doctor’s help with regards to your concern.

Kate is absolutely right that there are pregnant women who are okay with having contact as long as they don’t dilate or that things are just normal, no spots, specifically every after intercourse. Again, it is a case to case basis.

A regular check-up with and being very open to your doctor is great as well. Especially with matters that concern your firstborn’s health, you should never take risks.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Response 28th July 2012 from Hans24

Thank you for the response Ma’am Kate and Mum0Three. After reading your responses we did slow down for a while and everything is much back to normal now.

I have once read that having sex is good for pregnant women… It seems that information is misleading. Thank you to the both of you.

Response 6th August 2012 from 5Homebirths4Kate

Hi Hans,

Having sex during pregnancy is normally just fine for women. But in your case I would take it easy. However, the great news is that you’ll want to have sex often once your wife hits 40 weeks as the semen acts as a prostaglandin on the cervix and can help it to soften and can help your wife go into labour if her body is ready.

This is always a nice thing for husbands because once your wife has the baby, she will not be up to having sex for a few weeks as her body heals from the traumatic experience of giving birth (think about what she’s going to do – she’s going to move a 7 or 8 pound baby through a very small opening, and her body is going to do a lot of adjusting and stretching in order to allow this to happen. Thankfully hormones are produced during labour which allow this “stretching” and “moving” to occur, but it will be a lot of very hard work for your wife.

So enjoy the sex towards the end of pregnancy and then be sure your wife is healed well before attempting again after the birth.

Warm regards,

Kate

Response 19th April 2015 from fbrissey

I know this is an old post and hope there is still someone out there responding to it. There have been 2 times where I have noticed a slight pinkish tinge, not blood exactly, after intercourse. the tinge Is gone after a quick wipe,and there is not enough to really spot on panties. Should I be concerned about this? Every post I have read talks about bleeding and spotting and mine seems almost insignificant comparatively.but it still concerns me. (I am a first time mom by the way)

Response 21st April 2015 from azcountrymum

Hello fbrissey,

I would love to help guide you through your concerns. I also had a couple of times when I had a similar experience as you describe. For me, it turned out to be nothing serious at all, but also it may have something to do with the how far along I was in my pregnancy. Can you write back here on this thread and tell me how far along you are in your pregnancy? This way I can give you a more helpful answer. Thanks so much!

Response 21st April 2015 from fbrissey

Thank you for responding. I am about 4 months, just a few days shy. When I spoke with the doctor about it the first time he says no more sex for the rest of your pregnancy if it happens again. But that seems extreme for such trace amounts of blood. As I said I had a pinkish tinge after and no actual blood.

Can my wife and I have sex during her pregnancy? transcript from PBB forum that was active until May 2017

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