As an older mother myself, having just given birth to a baby girl eight weeks before I turned forty, I find myself sensitive to all the expert opinion on the subject. During my pregnancy some of the comments I received made me wonder if I should just book into a retirement home at the same time I booked in for my antenatal care. I even considered the ultimate defence, lying about my age but this was made difficult when my seven-year-old daughter kept telling everyone about my impending, rather significant birthday. Frankly, I would prefer to follow the mantra, ‘breed old, die late and leave a beautiful brain.’ As a midwife, however, I was mindful of some of my increased risks and was grateful to have the knowledge to make informed decisions that resulted in the birth of a healthy baby.
Women who give birth later in life do so for a variety of reasons. Some have chosen to establish their careers first or to ensure financial security before embarking on motherhood. Others may not have found a partner until later on in life while others may have had difficult childhoods that they need to resolve before they become parents themselves. There are also increasing numbers of women who have undergone years of fertility treatment in order to have a baby.
Older mothers are defined as women who become pregnant and give birth at 35 years and over. Far from being a minority any more we are fast becoming a majority. In Australia in 2004, women had on average 1.77 babies. This is the highest fertility rate since 1995. This rise was seen largely amongst women who were aged between 30-39 years of age and for the first time women aged between 35 and 39 years of age are having more babies than women aged between 20 and 24 years of age. The average age of all women giving birth in Australia is now 30.6 years of age and the average age of fathers is 32.8 years of age.
Is age a problem when it comes to pregnancy and birth or is the problem people’s attitude to age? Being an older mother has pros and cons that are supported by good scientific evidence but there is no doubt that people’s attitude to older mothers can in fact generate problems. Research has shown that where there are no identified medical complications of pregnancy, the risks of childbirth in older women are no greater than in younger women. This is an important consideration because health professionals can create a self-fulfilling prophecy when they become anxious and intervene or perceive problems. Older mothers are more likely to be induced, have their labours sped up or have a caesarean section even when you exclude problems. The older body is less supple and flexible and this may partly account for the increased need to intervene in birth. It is interesting to note, however, that older women who give birth at home or in a birth centre are much more likely to have a normal birth than those that receive a more medicalised approach.
While research into pregnancy and birth for older mothers does tend to confirm the view that women aged 35 and over are more prone to complications it is important to take underlying health issues into consideration. For example, the older we get the more likely we are to be overweight and suffer from problems such as high blood pressure and diabetes. This adds risk to any pregnancy we then have. If a risk factor exists before we go into labour then this can impact on the labour and increase the need for medical intervention.
Unfortunately high-profile examples, such as Madonna, who had her last child at 42, and Cherie Blair, Prime Minister Tony Blair’s wife, who gave birth at the age of 45, make women think age is not an obstacle to their fertility. The reality is that for women over 35 getting pregnant is often the hardest part. Fertility declines as we get older but the drop is quite dramatic after 35. Women release fewer eggs as they get older and these eggs are less likely to be fertilised or to implant in the uterus and grow a health baby. As good as you may look on the outside, and even feel on the inside, your eggs are as old as you are. If IVF is attempted it is also less successful in women over 35- and if successful more likely to end in miscarriage. On the other hand twins are more common in older mothers (non-identical). While this is partly due to the increased use of fertility treatments by these women, the likelihood of naturally conceived twins peaks between ages 35 and 39.
The rate of miscarriage in older women is significantly greater than in younger women. Studies have found that about 9 percent of recognised pregnancies for women aged 20 to 24 ended in miscarriage. The risk rises to about 20 percent at age 35 to 39, and more than 50 percent by age 42. This is mainly due to the increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities that occur with age. Older mothers are also more likely to have ectopic pregnancies. Sadly the risk of stillbirth is also increased, though some studies provide evidence that disputes this.
Older mothers are more likely to have bleeding before pregnancy. This is mostly due to the way the placenta implants lower in the uterus. Older mothers are more likely to have babies that are born premature and that are in a breech position. They are also more likely to have children born with a chromosomal abnormality. Despite the increased risk of abnormality, it is important to remember that the vast majority of babies are normal. The incidence of Down syndrome is much higher in women over 35 years of age yet the majority of babies with Down syndrome are born to women younger than 35 years of age because they are less likely to have testing for it.
Stamina does decline as we grow older and a screaming newborn at 3am will not leave you as unaffected by minimal sleep the next day as it would have in your 20s. Older mothers tend to have developed comfortable routines and a level of independence in their lives, so the 24 hour-a-day responsibilities that come with caring for a child can be a shock. Women in this older age group also are used to a higher wage than their younger counterparts and can feel the effects of lost income or a break in career. Surveys have shown that women over the age of 35 suffer most when it comes to trying to juggle family life with a job. New mothers get less than an average of four hours of sleep in the first four months of their baby’s life and this effects relationships and work performance. The key is to take as much maternity and paternity leave as possible.
One could argue that the biological disadvantage of having babies later on in life is balanced by the social advantages. Older mothers are more likely to be educated and financially secure. Older mothers are often more settled in themselves and ready make the necessary sacrifices that having a baby brings. Children of older parents are more likely to do well at school than those born to very young parents. Both these factors can lead to positive effects in the child. Interestingly, older mothers are more likely to give birth to children who are left-handed. People who are left-handed tend to achieve more than right-handed people because their brain is structured in a way that widens their range of abilities. Lots of actors for example, are left-handed. Older women have more confidence in their bodies and in themselves and they are more likely to negotiate care they want for themselves and their baby. The added years and life experience can give us extra courage and resilience, which are vital for motherhood.
Women who are able to have children later in life may also live longer. Research indicates that women who have one or two children in their 30s and 40s have a greater chance of living into their 80s and 90s. One study found that women who lived until at least the age of 100 were four times more likely to have had children in their 40s than women who survived only to the age of 73. The researchers concluded that the genes that allowed a woman to give birth later in life might also slow the rate of aging and decrease their susceptibility to diseases in old age.
The other benefit of pregnancy and lactation at any age is they are supposed to make us smarter. Changes occur that appear to mark the brain for life, suggesting women’s brains are much more capable of change than men’s. As if any of us doubted that!
At any age, a woman should consult her health care provider before trying to conceive. A preconception visit helps ensure that she is in the best possible physical condition before conception. This is especially important with women who have chronic health problems such as diabetes or high blood pressure, which can be harmful to them and their baby. These conditions are much more common in women in their late 30s and 40s than in younger women. Careful medical monitoring and appropriate choice of medications, started before conception and continued throughout pregnancy, can reduce the risks associated with these conditions and, in most cases, result in a healthy pregnancy and birth.
Having a healthy diet, undertaking regular exercise and maintaining a healthy weight is important. Taking folic acid 400 micrograms daily before and during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy can help prevent serious birth defects. If women smoke then they should try to give up or dramatically cut down, as this will have an enormous impact on the health of the baby. Smoking is linked to premature births, unhealthily small babies and more miscarriages and bleeding in pregnancy. It is also linked to stillbirth and later on to sudden infant death syndrome. Likewise it is best to avoid alcohol during pregnancy and not to use any drugs unless recommended by a health professional.
There is so much focus on older mothers in the media and by the medical profession that older fathers are hardly ever mentioned except in the context of their amazing virility. There are some risks with fathering children later in life, with an increase in rare birth disorders and schizophrenia in offspring. Women with older partners are also likely to take longer to conceive.
Having a child between 25 and 35 years of age is probably ideal but it is not always desirable or possible. Having a baby between 35 and 45 year of age is still reasonably safe in Australia. Pregnancy after 45 years of age becomes the domain of the very healthy and very wealthy. Women who are healthy with no medical problems will need the same care as any other pregnant woman. The only additional considerations will be genetic counselling and testing for abnormalities in early pregnancy. It is important therefore that women book in early for antenatal care. There is no reason why older mothers cannot have their baby in a birth centre or at home if this is their choice and everything is straightforward in the pregnancy.
As an older parent myself I have had the advantage of watching and learning from the mistakes friends made raising their children. As an older parent I can regale my children with stories of travel and adventure from my well-spent twenties. But as an older parent I also feel a tug at the heartstrings when I consider that I won’t be with my children as long nor perhaps see as many grandchildren as some of my friends will. But then I can honesty say, I wouldn’t change a thing.
‘Older Mothers’ by Julia Berryman, Karen Thorpe and Kate Windbridge
Just type in ‘older mother ‘and you will be inundated with websites.
35 comment(s) on this page. Add your own comment below.
Thank you so much. I was feeling concerned tonight about being an older parent. My precious little boy was unplanned, but incredibly wanted. I just wish that he could have come 10-years sooner for his sake. Lately I have been reading about how "old People smell is a reality" and how children of older parents are often embarrassed and have other issues as well. Amazing since we have so many teenage moms who are undereducated and lack any true financial abilities, with the exception of the grandparents who often end up raising the children. Thank you so much again.
Thanks - I'm 44 and 8 weeks - my boyfriend is 51 and this is our unexpected love child! I have a 13 yr old and his oldest is 21 - I will have to give up my career for a while but if this pregnancy turns out to be viable, your story has made me feel much more positive... New directions but we are both professionals with a big life ahead of us!
Thank you for your story. I had my first child at the age of 38 and have just found out we are pregnant again I am now 45 and 9 weeks (due a day after my 46 bday) I am looking forward to staying young and giving my children all the l be in the world. I too believe that they keep you feeling and looking younger no-one ever guess my age !!!
Thanks so much for sharing. I have just found out I am pregnant with my 3rd child, at 44. We already have a 15 and 10 year old sons. IT was a bit of a shock, as we were not trying. I have been up all night worrying myself sick about so many of the issues you spoke about. I feel much better now, and not alone. I am just going to take each day as it comes and love this new little person.
Thank you for that great information and support to older mums. I had my first baby at 44yo. Happy, healthy, and smart. I was lucky, no complications and quick recovery. Sleep deprivation was a shock to the system, though. Yes, it's tiring, but so is my teaching job! After 6 months I'm back at work 4 days (partner stays home and looks after bubs). Nothing beats coming home to my little one yo boy's big smile and cuddles and "mum, mum". Wouldn't have it any other way!
In February after years of horrible periods and not conceiving I decided to book in for a Mirena. Instead I am 7weeks pregnant and will be 41 when baby is born.Baby number four will be due in October. Our beautiful children are 10,9 and 6. This baby will be so loved and cared for, but there are nay sayers and tsk tsks, from my family that Im a little tentative, but in our extended family babies are born every year. This year with mine there will be three... Lokk out world..
Hi Heather! My name is Terri, i have your same story! We should talk! I cant wait to share with you.. my email address is firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you for the positive words. I am 44 and am 5 weeks pregnant. I took 3 pregnancy tests all positive, then became glued to the internet, worried about if I was to old and the effects on the baby. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant then after I read all the horrifying things that could happen I was crying. I have 3 other healthy children, i was 40 when I had my 3rd child, I appreciate your uplifting words and now I can be excited again.
Thank you - at last something positive. I was 33 when I had my last child and was called an elderly parent then !! Having just discovered at 45 that I am pregnant again I dread to think how I will be classified now. I am well aware of the risks and just wish to be treated equally to other mums without the 'red flag' approach being so evident. Great to hear of others experience.
Thank you for the incredible read. I am 40 this month and pregnant for the 4th time and at 36 weeks today. I have had a few complications, which has put me on bed rest, but for the most part my pregnancy has been healthy and exciting. I have had those wonderful tests early into my pregnancy and my daughter is healthy (no birth defects) and active. I feel great for the most part and can attest that I am appreciating every moment of this pregnancy due to being older. My youngest is 15 and even though I was excited about pregnancy in my early 20s I find that I didn't have the same level of appreciation for my pregnancies then as I do now. I am loving pregnancy and will miss the experience of carrying a little one inside of me when she is finally here. Everyone around me has been very supportive of mine and my partners age (he's 53) and we are looking forward to staying and feeling younger. I feel that becoming pregnant at a later age isn't something to fear, but rather embraced. Congratulations to all mature parents out there and wishing you safe pregnancies and parenthood.
Thank you everyone for all the positive words, but I think I may be the oldest on here at 50! My very best friends are in menopause and here I am 6 weeks pregnant?! I did miscarry unexpectedly last year, but just assumed it was a fluke pregnancy. I have had two children the youngest is 18!! My ex-husband had a vasectomy and being with a new love, and statistically thought I would never get pregnant again. I am just taking it one day at a time and trying not to freak out. Risk of miscarriage is so high that I don't want to think too far ahead. I am wondering if someone can tell me about when you have the testing done to determine if pregnancy is healthy? Much Thanks!
Thank you for sharing. I am 38 married, financially secure with a 21 yr old, 7 y/o, and 4 y/o. A 4th would be a blessing. I am active, lead a healthy life, and no health problems to date. I hope my 4th pg is healthy and kicking :) God willing, God bless. xoxo
Reading all these wonderful stories has really lifted me. Im 44 and expecting my first child due a month after my 45th birthday. My pregnancy has been fine so far, and I'm just praying for a healthy baby. My family are amazed as I've never really talked about having kids before and now here I am. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. Stumbling across this article today was exactly what I needed. Thank you all and best wishes.
Hi, I'm 37 and 6 weeks 5 days pregnant and could be expecting twins (find out for sure Saturday) i'm absolutely worried sick it'll be twins as the pregnancy was a total shock any way and unplanned being that i was on the pill at the time of conceiving. I really don't no what to do. I have a very loving and caring boyfriend who I've only been with for 8 months and will support me in what ever decision i make but either way im scared stiff, don't no if i can do this. Im so so tired and lacking energy, feeling so sick and already just cant be bothered. Please help me xx
Thanks for all the supporting stories..im 44 n 7 weeks pregnant with my 4th child..its my partners first..not gonna lie im scared..my friends have all deserted me as i used to go out n now im at home all the time..im looking for new friends n a support network..
Although many women in large cities around the world are having children later in life for various reasons, its still unusual to have a first child in ones 40's here in Kenya.
I had a happy but intense career, and when the dust settled, as I approached 40 it occurred to me - maybe for the first time in my life, that I maybe wouldnt meet anyone and maybe would never be a mother, something iId never thought much about, or actively coveted, but was surprised to discover I deeply desired. But not with anyone - it had to be with someone I loved, and what was the chance of meeting him, in a city where I had dated so many frogs? I honestly didnt quite think Id meet Mr Right but lo and beho;ld, I met the sweetest, kindest,most loving - and very handsome! - husband and got married at 42. Even though we hoped for a little one, I secretly didnt think it would be possible - and was relieved that my husband (my age and also childless) put no pressure on me about this, happy for us simply to have found each other so late in our lives. My gorgeous son, now almost 3 was born after a happy healthy pregnancy.
I thought that was a nice fairytale ending and expected no more, but this weekend, just a few months after my 48th birthday , I did a pregnancy test after wondering where my periods had suddenly vanished to. I assumed this must be the beginning of menopause, but googling, found I had none of the symptoms - hot flushes, erratic preceeding periods etc.
And so... my husband and I hovered over the stick I'd just peed on, and when the two lines showed, I burst into tears of joy. Even though Id spent alot of time worrying about my son in 20 plus years with two aging parents and no sibling to share any worries or simply share a background with, I thought the only possible solution was adoption, and was trying to wrap my head around that, wondering if we should, could..... And here I was, pregant again! And ecstatic to be - mostly because of my son, who I feel really needed a sibling with such older parents.
But this evening, as the surprise and euphoria dies down, the familiar fears come back - I'd had him at 44 and now, I will be having the second (hoping all goes well) at 49! Its mpossible not to think about Downs, about miscarraiges and so on. In addition, I never quite lost my pregnancy weight, so I am not in the great shapeI was when I had my first, and so up go the risks that accompany being overweight AND older. But... what a joy, and whatever is meant to be, will be. All I can do is prepare the best I can, by long walks, eating right, staying positive and not getting stressed out by work or life or all these fears and simply celebrating our good fortune with joy and grace and love for each other over the next months which hopefully will end up with a beautiful, bright new spark of life in our lives. Wishing all the rest of you older mothers joy and strength and love too!
It's been great to read these stories I feel encouraged all will be well for me. I had breast cancer in my 30s so wasn't able to even start trying till I was in my early 40s after all the treatments had finished. I was to meet with my specialist next week to arrange getting my preserved frozen ovarian tissue grafted back into my body in the hope one day they'd be able to harvest some eggs for IVF. Today I cancelled the appointment because I'm 6 weeks pregnant - much to my surprise. Unfortunately my partner of 2 years isn't so happy and has freaked out so it looks like I'll be a single mum...but who cares, I feel blessed to have even conceived naturally and no matter what happens in the coming months I was a mum on mother's day 2015. Very happy :-)
Hello, refreshing to hear positive comments for a change. I'm 42 and just found out I'm pregnant. Scared quite a bit. Hoping for the best. I had my 2nd child at age 38. I had a couple of complications like polyhydramnios & he had mild vm but he was born healthy so I'm hoping for the same with this precious one. Idk how far along I am. I can't remember at what week they did all the tests for him, does anyone know? I think I'll be due my birth month, always wanted to bring another Aquarius into the world. :)
Thank you for sharing your stories. My boyfriend and I have been trying to conceve for over a year. We recently met with a fertility doctor and she gave us the bad news that based on my results, she wouldn't recommend drugs. My best viable option is going with an egg donor ot adoption. We decided to start the process of public adoption and I'll continue seeing an acupuncturist. Your stories are hopeful that I might conceive naturally.
I just found out 2 days ago after taking several home pregnancy tests that indeed am expecting around 4weeks along. Im 42 with a 19 year old son .So I was a bit surprised by it. I've thought about it for years and wanted it to happen and it never di so I thought it couldn't but the surprise was on me. Honestly I'm afraid not just of health risks for me the baby but how is my life going to change its been a long time since I had to be a mom. All the stories give me hope and confidence that I can make it. Good luck to all the new moms on here.
I am 44 yrs miscarried in May this year with two kids 8 and 4. I had given out on conceiving again but due to the encouraging stories have just read, am going to try it again. Thank you very much moms.
I am 38 and already have 20 year old twins. I stopped taking the pill 3 years ago as we thought we would try for another. Since then I have built a successful business and am in middle of moving house. I was a week late on Saturday but thought nothing of it as have been stressed. My sister encouraged me to take a test and I am 5 weeks pregnant - in fact she just found out she is 4 days behind me making us due 4 days apart! Weird thing is after 3 years I had given up trying as nothing happened. Now I am in shock and worried but at the same time kind of think things happen for a reason. DH seems a little negative as he is 42 and thinks too old although we were actively trying not so long ago. I am hoping he is going to embrace the second opportunity of a beautiful new life and my grown up babies! They always wanted siblings although twins wished us to have more but never financially viable. Now in a great position working for ourselves from home with good income and lots of support on hand if needed. Not told kids yet or parents just hoping the news us taken well....
I am 46yo and am 31 weeks pregnant. I am due 2 days after my 47th birthday and this is my first child.....I have 2 adopted children 5 and 6...........we cant wait for the baby to arrive.
I am brand new pregnant. I'm 45 my husband is 40 and we have a 3 and 4 yr old already. I also have three grown up children from my first marriage. We haven't decided to definitely continue with the pregnancy, we initially thought the risks were too high but after talking with my lovely doctor i am beginning to see that things are not as bleak as i first thought!. I am torn.
I'm 42 and 6 weeks pregnant with my third. I've had them all later - 39 and 41. Two gorgeous super healthy girls who are 1 and almost 3. They keep me fit! This was a surprise pregnancy as we weren't trying but we're so delighted. Having a bit of spotting which is scaring me a bit but otherwise all good. Just taking each day as it comes.
Hello. I'm 45 and just found out I'm @ 7 weeks pregnant. I'm so nervous and scared I haven't told anyone. My husband and I had a precious baby boy 18 months ago and this completed our lives. (I had three previous children - 25, 23, & 17 - he has none). I love our little one so much and stay home and also watch my grandson, who is 2 months younger than my little one. I found out last week and broke down in tears. I don't want anything to change and I'm getting older, still battling with my weight and trying to get my teenager through her senior year. We don't have a lot of money and my family will not be supportive. I know we will love this baby once it is here but I have little time for anything right now, as it is. I would love some support or to talk with anyone who can relate. My e-mail address is email@example.com, if anyone wants to talk. Thanks so much. (PS. I did find the article helpful and read each and every response. Thank you.)
This is so encouraging. I just hit 39 and am Childless, I broke down in tears yesterday when I was told by my doctor that my biological clock was " definetly" ticking and after age 42 there was pretty much no chance:( . I have hope now that I still have time . Bless you all
Hi, I'm 36 and don't have any children yet. My partner and I would like to have a family but aren't in a financial position to do so yet,. I'm worried that if we wait too long it will never happen but reading the article and the great comments has made me feel so much more positive about things. I feel relatively healthy and hope that in 1-2 years time when we are hoping to be more settled financially that we can become parents. I know a lot of people say that you will never have enough money to have a child, but we really can't afford it now, but by working hard and saving I do think it would be best to wait a while. I just do worry that if we leave it too long, nature may deal us a bad hand, but then we will have to accept that it wasn't meant to be for us I guess. Great reading all this positivity though, thank you and good luck to you all.
Hi everyone.. Thank you so much for all your lovely stories,they really give me hope. I am 45 and am trying to fall pregnant. I too worry about the unknown but the positives far outweigh the negatives for me. Good luck to everyone..
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I am 38 and have been trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant for many years. I have endometriosis. I've done IVF but the eggs didn't develop properly and I had to force miscarry them. That is the only time I know of that I have been pregnant. I always pray and worry because I worry about being too old for a child by time one comes along. My grandma had my mom at 40 and reading your stories have reiterated that. Best wishes for your children and for those of you that are expecting(even the ones that aren't pregnant .. YET!!!)
I had my 3rd girl 15 months ago at age 41. I agree that the medical professionals label you as "advanced maternal age" and want to intervene in the delivery too much. I wish that I would have resisted an induction as I really believe that it prolonged and complicated my delivery. She is such a blessing and I'm glad that we left the decision to God on whether to have a 3rd child. I say if you are healthy and have a willing partner that can support you and you really want another child, go for it at any age! Be sure to have genetic testing to set your mind at ease as the eggs do age over time, and then enjoy the journey of motherhood. It is such a gift.
Hi I'm 44 and am 8 weeks pregnant this will be my 5th child ,we were excited when the test was positive and feel very blessed to be able to have a new addition to our family ,we pray for a healthy pregnancy and delivery ,thankyou for the information it gives me high hopes.
Hi I have just had my first baby at 37 years old and have been having the worst terrifying thoughts about being an older mum. It's mostly thoughts about dying and not being around for my daughter, leaving her all alone and vulnerable.it leaves me completely consumed with anxiety and panic. has anyone else experienced this ?
39 and 6 weeks pregnant. Accidental. Can this really be happening? My husband is 49, we have a 7.5 year old healthy little boy. Last pregnancy I had morning sickness for months. This one, it's just starting and I truly forgot how terrible it is. I have a very good career, which worries me about taking time off. I'm so tired already.... I'm scared of complications as my first birth didn't go smoothly, and recovery was long and painful. If anyone wants to chat let me know! I would love some support.
I'm 42, pregnant and terrified! I've been a single mother to my 3 kids (25, 23, 18) since 99. I've been with my BF over 6 years, he has a son. I'm confused if I want a child? I think I want an abortion. What will my family day, my siblings, my MOM! MY KIDS! PEOPLE! My BF wants the baby, then I think...might be since I have a pretty good job, he wasn't a good citizen when he was very young... ended up losing his greencard; he doesn't like my family (feels they think he's not worthy of me), I don't think he likes my kids. ..my kids live with me, THAT WILL BIT CHANGE! I do and don't want a baby.... advice, anyone?