Have you created a postnatal plan to help you ease into motherhood? Just as you wouldn’t embark on birth without discussing your preferences, don’t leave the period after birth to chance either. Giving some thought to the first weeks after a baby is born can help them run smoothly and with more joy.
From visitors to chores to postnatal care, here are some things to jot down in your postpartum plan.
Boundaries for visitors
Everyone wants to share your joy and meet the new baby. However, the period after birth is a precious phase of rest, adjustment and bonding. With this in mind, consider talking to friends and family in advance about your restrictions on visitors. (It’s good practice for other limits you’ll need to set as a parent.)
For example, the postnatal boundaries you choose might include:
- One set of visitors per day
- visitors are welcome after the first three days or the first two weeks
- visits limited to half an hour or 2 hours
- visitors to wash their hands
- only grandparents are to hold the baby in the first two weeks
- text messages are always appreciated.
Removing other barriers to rest
In some Chinese families, for example, new mothers rest in a month-long confinement period. Likewise, your postnatal period should include plenty of time in bed and on the couch.
Sit down with your partner (or other support people) and work out what will you stop you resting, and what you want to do about them. For example:
- Which of you will cook and freeze a stockpile of nourishing meals?
- Is it time to arrange meal kit deliveries or fruit and veg deliveries?
- Can your partner leave work early to cook dinner, tidy up, and hold the baby?
- Who will walk the dog or mow the lawn?
- Who can pick up your older children from school or daycare?
- Can someone take them to the park for an hour or two while you rest?
- If you’re planning a caesarean birth, how will you get by without driving for six weeks?
Asking for help
To enlist help, cast a wide net. Think of your friends, family, daycare mums, work colleagues, and neighbours. Most people jump at the chance to help out new parents. For instance, your dad or brother might eagerly pop a load of washing on while you discuss “women’s business” with your mum. (It’s a law of physics that the smaller the human, the more laundry they create.)
When visitors come, don’t be afraid to ask them to bring morning tea or freezer meals. Similarly, if anyone texts you with the words, “Congratulations, let me know what I can do to help,” be ready to tell them. If you do subsequently get a lot of food deliveries and don’t want to be disturbed, you can leave a cooler by the front door.
Also, you can ask for recommendations for professional help. You might book a cleaner, dog walker, lawnmower, postpartum doula etc.
Postnatal health care
After birth, there are all sorts of things to keep an eye on – from bleeding to boobs to emotional wellbeing. Will your midwife be visiting you at home for postnatal care? Or will you make an appointment to see your GP? Also, what about your joints and muscles? Do you have the name of a great women’s health physio who can give you a check-up and personalised exercises (usually from 6 weeks after birth)?
Breastfeeding
Australian statistics show about 93% of babies breastfed at birth. However, this rate decreases significantly over time. So where will you get support if things get tricky and you need advice with breastfeeding?
Your postnatal plan might include contacting:
- the hospital lactation consultant
- a private lactation consultant in your area
- your private midwife
- the child health nurse, or pharmacy child health nurse
- the Australian Breastfeeding Association.
Being aware of the baby blues
It’s very typical around day 3 to 5 after birth to feel teary and overwhelmed. It happens to about 80% of new mothers, most likely due to decreasing pregnancy hormones.
Bearing this in mind, think about what you’ll choose to say if you’re expecting visitors, but you’re in floods of tears just getting dressed. Maybe: “Sorry, I was so looking forward to seeing you, but I’m not up to it today. Could we reschedule?” Or: “I’m a bit fragile today, I hope you don’t mind. I would still really love you to come over.”
Debriefing the birth
Regardless of the type of birth you have, who can you talk to about how things unfolded on the day? For instance, does your midwife or doctor routinely allow time for an in-depth debrief? Or will you choose to talk to a trusted friend or doula? Do you already have a relationship with a psychologist or counsellor, or where would you find one?
Socialising with other parents and babies
Connecting with others is helpful for you and your child. At first, getting out and about might be low-key. For example, you may choose to do things like lunch at your parent’s house, coffee down the road with your partner, and walking around the block.
After a few weeks or months, some popular ways you can choose to socialise are:
- mother’s groups run by your community child health centre, or private midwifery practice
- library babies and rhymes sessions
- postnatal mum and bub yoga or physio classes
- baby sensory classes
- local mums’ groups on Facebook or the Mush app, for advice and playdates.
Above all, remember there is no perfect postnatal plan, and you can always change it. But being proactive now leaves you more headspace to enjoy your precious new bub later.
Reference List
PBB aims to keep you informed with the latest research-based information. Check out our reference list used in the creation of this article.
Published 30th June 2020
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