31.10.12 at 1:49pm (39wks 4 days)

3.54kg – 52.5cm – Head 34cm

Saturday 27th:  I notice many changes such as tender breasts and mucus turning from whitish to the fertile raw egg white kind. Sunday there was a bloody show (light pink tinge to the mucus). I remember telling Jaymes about it saying, “It will probably still be a couple of days yet but things are happening.” I’d also been getting lots of BH for a week with a slight false alarm the week before.

Monday the contractions changed in nature and were coming regularly and getting more intense. I had to pay them some attention now but not heaps. We got excited. We put our daughter to bed, Jaymes got super busy preparing my birth space, inflating and filling the pool etc and I called Lisa. We sat and talked and laughed the three of us as we waited for my body to open. We went to bed and things slowed. In the morning they picked up but labour had not quite established as yet so Lisa left and said “Call me anytime you need me and I’ll come back.”

Jaymes stayed home and took Amelia to school. The teachers asked “Where’s Mummy?” Amelia: “She’s having a baby….she’s having a homebirth.”

We just relaxed together Tuesday and at around 5-6pm I felt like things had finally become regular and slightly more intense. Amelia knew something was really happening as I had to breathe through the waves and go inward.  I explained my body was getting ready for the baby to come and it was starting to work hard and that when it was working hard I had to concentrate and breathe and that it was hard to talk at those times. We put Amelia to bed and I asked Lisa to come.

Lisa came. Amelia woke up (or got up, not sure if she went to sleep or not). Not long after I stripped off and got in the pool… Ahhh it felt lovely. I felt so comfortable and safe. All my beautiful candles were flickering about the house, the scent of lavender and lemongrass filled the room. I fell in love with the lemongrass at my blessingway (thanks Lisa) and burned the oil often from then up until the birth. My CD, Tony O’connor “In Touch” was playing continuously. Each time the beautiful woodwind sounds died I would just gently direct my support people, “Music please” and the sound would fill the room once more as I drifted back into Labourland.

The sensations grew in intensity and I was breathing deep in through the nose and moaning long deep moans. Occasionally I would say “open” as I exhaled. Jaymes and Amelia dripped warm water down my back with a face washer, patted my face with a cool damp washer, hugged me and held my hands. Lisa and Jaymes kept offering me drinks, reminding me to go to the toilet and telling me I was doing a great job. They encouraged me the whole time and gave me the right support when I needed it .

Lisa would gently appear at my side, occasionally popping the Doppler on to check on bub or encourage me some more. At around 10pm I noticed Amelia sitting by the pool, in a dining chair, her head drooping to the side as she fell asleep. She didn’t want to go to bed but Jaymes scooped her up, walked about the room with her for a few moments and then tucked her into bed. At some point the waves were greeted with strong back pain that would linger after each contraction and the contractions started rolling one on top of the other. One would be manageable and the second would seem to go on forever and the back pain would linger after the contraction had eased.

This went on for hours. I would hop out of the pool to pee and the contractions intensified again. Sitting on the toilet was hell! I hated it. At some point I couldn’t empty my bladder and Lisa knew I needed to. She offered to insert a catheter and I was happy to let her. I could no longer lie in bed. I just propped some pillows` around and stayed on all fours. I would rock back and forth or sway side to side riding those powerful waves. Occasionally they got the better of me and I focussed on the physical, telling Lisa or Jaymes, “I want this to end… I’ve had enough…”

Then I’d find a way to go within and I’d tell myself over and over, “I’m okay. I can do this.” Riding the waves again as I rocked. I just did whatever my body told me. I tried a few different positions that Lisa suggested as well. When moving from pool to toilet or bed I’d hang off Jaymes or hold him and sway. At times I was able to rest between them although it didn’t feel that way. I started thinking “This baby has to be posterior… this back pain isn’t letting up.”

Jane was also there taking photos. Most of the time I didn’t notice her but at one point I was having a hard time staying inward, I turned my head away “too bright” I said and the flash disappeared. At around 3am Lisa asked about examining me to check bubs position and I was fine with this. As we both suspected bub was posterior and I was 6-7cm dilated. I felt slightly disheartened as I was getting tired. Lisa reassured me that my body was opening up just as it needed to and I was doing well.

As the pain was becoming harder to manage Lisa asked if I wanted to try water injections. I think I said “I don’t know what I want”… but within minutes I knew I wanted them. Lisa came back suggesting the TENS and I thought “Oh no! Where are the water injections?” Lisa didn’t have her sterile water. “NO!” So I tried the TENS. It provided some distraction but nowhere near enough relief.

Lisa came back…” I have been on the internet and can use saline.” “Great….let’s go” Lisa got ready; Jaymes helped me out of the pool and through a wave or two. I got on the bed on my knees, lent into Jaymes and we held hands tightly as I braced for what I thought would be agony. The injections felt like tiny stings not the horrible wasp stings I was expecting. I guess compared to the hours of backache I’d endured they weren’t much in comparison.

It was still dark at this point. Amelia was still sleeping and I thought Jane had gone home to rest. I continued to ride it out but I didn’t feel that the baby was moving or that any progress had been made. I told Lisa “Everything feels the same…The contractions the pain and the baby…Everything feels the same. I don’t feel like anything has changed.”

I got back in the pool again. I remember waking with a nose full of water as I had dozed off and dun