My First Pregnancy (2014)
Spontaneous labour, preeclampsia, epidural for blood pressure after 7cm, 3 hours pushing, bub direct posterior position, failed vacuum, emergency c-section under GA for failed epidural, didn’t meet my son for 5 hours post-birth due to high BP in recovery, diagnosed with PTSD from feeling sensation during CS, PPD/PPA although didn’t feel this effected bonding.
I had always planned that if I were to get pregnant again, I would have a homebirth with a private midwife and stay as far away as possible from the hospital. I ended up with the complete opposite once I found out I had MCDA (one placenta, dividing membrane) twins! Initially, I thought I’d have an elective CS because the pregnancy itself would be high risk, but then I cried about that for hours because I knew this would be my last pregnancy and felt like I would never know if I could have a vaginal birth.
I am a midwife, so I feel like maybe I didn’t get all the scare tactics and felt supported for a VBAC by most of the doctors I saw providing twin 1 was head down. An epidural was strongly recommended, which was difficult for me to decide on as I felt my son’s malpresentation in my first birth was most likely caused by an epidural. Still, a lot of my PTSD came from having a general and not seeing my son be born, so I thought if I at least had an epidural in place, I would be able to be awake if I needed a CS.
I ended up being diagnosed with a short cervix at 17 weeks and went on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. I had a cervical stitch placed at 23 weeks, spent a long time in hospital on bed rest, and had multiple episodes of preterm labour that we managed to stop with medication.
32+4 weeks gestation I woke up at around 2 am with a tightening and needing to pee which was normal as I had painful tightenings every day. As I was on the toilet, I had another one that felt stronger than they usually did. I went back to bed and had another one and thought I was not going to time then but looked at the time so I could see how far apart they were. I shut my eyes, then another one came, and I looked at the time, and it had only been 3 minutes. Then another one came 3 minutes later, so I got up and went to sit on the toilet. They kept coming, and when I would have one, I was like shit, I need to be at the hospital right now, but then it would pass. I’m like, no, it’s fine. I wanted to sleep (I also hate hospitals), then another one came, and I was like, nope, it’s happening!
So woke partner and called mum to come over and headed into the hospital. Once at the hospital, speculum showed cervix was closed, and stitch was holding, so started the usual medication protocol of trying to stop labour. To me, it felt different this time, and I knew it wasn’t going to work. I continued contracting 3-4 in 10 mins and had another spec around 6 am, and the cervix was still closed. But I was exhausted and emotional and just wanted the stitch removed because I knew it wasn’t going to stop as we’d finished all the nifedipine doses I could have.
I’d also started to have some pink discharge. I took the monitors off to shower as I technically wasn’t in “active labour”, which was helpful! When I put the monitors back on, I started using the gas. I then started having some red bleeding, so the doctors were called back and decided to remove the stitch.
The stitch removal was super traumatic because, by this stage, I was having intense contractions. It