Your experience of pregnancy after miscarriage is rarely as straightforward as the first time you learned you were pregnant.

This time, along with joy, relief and hope, you might have less pleasant feelings. Maybe you’re worried about this baby’s health or grieving your previous loss. Consequently, you might feel guilty that you’re not more excited, or impatient to reach each milestone of this pregnancy.

However you feel, it’s okay to have a range of emotions.

Pregnancy after miscarriage

Will it happen again?

If you’ve been through miscarriage or stillbirth it’s natural to fear another loss. Research shows that pregnant women who had stronger grief after miscarriage have more anxiety in later pregnancies. They also have more symptoms of depression and post-traumatic stress, and strain in their relationships.

You probably know that statistically, there’s an excellent chance you’ll have a healthy baby if you’ve only had one miscarriage – around four out of five women do. Furthermore, only five percent of couples experience two or more pregnancy losses.

As you tick off each week, each ultrasound scan, and each movement you feel from the baby, your confidence will hopefully grow.

How can I manage my emotions?

Despite the high possibility of a successful pregnancy, some women remain understandably nervous.

Pregnancy is the perfect stage of life to strengthen your self-care habits and gain several benefits. For instance, self-care improves your health, lessens your chance of pregnancy complications and helps reduce anxiety. What works for you? It might be taking a walk with a friend, starting a new creative project, or seeing your massage therapist or acupuncturist.

As well as taking care of yourself, keep talking to your health care provider. In other words, let them know about your concerns. Ask for their advice on whether there’s anything you should do or avoid during this pregnancy. In addition, ask their reasons for their advice.

To nurture your mental well-being, you can get in touch with a pregnancy loss support organisation, such as SANDS. A counsellor or psychologist can also be helpful. Your GP may be able to arrange bulk-billed therapy sessions. If ever you’re not feeling heard or supported by your health care providers, consider trying someone else.

There’s an upside to the emotional journey of pregnancy and loss. Queensland researchers have found it’s common to experience posttraumatic growth after miscarriage. For example, you might gain a deeper appreciation for life, a greater sense of your personal strength, and relate better to others.

When should I tell people?

There are two schools of thought about when to tell people you’re pregnant after miscarriage.

Some choose to wait until the so-called “safe time” to announce a pregnancy. For instance at the start of the second trimester (from 13 weeks onwards). This is because most miscarriages happen in the first eight to twelve weeks. Waiting spares your friends and family from hearing the painful news. It also spares you from having to manage their reactions on top of your own.

The other school of thought is that during any pregnancy you need support from friends and family. During pregnancy after miscarriage, you need it even more. And if you are going to experience another miscarriage, you’ll need all the help you can get. Most people say they would rather know when someone close to them is going through a difficult time.

The choice is entirely yours (and your partner’s) as to who you share your news with at each stage.

What does this mean for my relationship?

Many partners are a great support. However, don’t feel disheartened if your partner seems emotionally removed from the joys and concerns of pregnancy. Carrying a new life is something you do 24/7. But male partners, in particular, often do not feel the highs and lows as keenly as you do. Perhaps it’s because they learnt to suppress their feelings or express them differently.

Meanwhile, those partners who do feel loss deeply can feel overlooked by friends and family. They’re usually more focused on the mother’s wellbeing.

Reference List

At PBB we aim to keep you informed with the latest research based information. Check out our reference list used in the creation of this article. Download PDF Pregnancy after miscarriage reference list

Published 25th August 2019

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