birth-story

My story is not very happy, but I truly believe it is worth telling so that other parents can prepare themselves properly.

She died during the birth. I had to be induced as Olivia had Hydrops fetalis, which is fluid retention around the baby and the baby’s vital organs. The doctors said that she would have a less than 5% chance of survival, and her head was already the size of a full-term baby at birth.

I tell this story because the hospitals often do not give you information on support groups such as SANDS and SIDS, which are vital when you are given such tragic news. I feel they believe they know best and have the right skills to help the parents through difficult times. To a degree, they are right but had my husband and I not gone and seen a SANDS psychologist for two weeks before we made our decision to be induced, I believe that it could have affected our marriage, and I might possibly have become unbalanced as a result of our trauma.

The psychologist told us exactly what our rights were and what questions we should ask the specialists.

She even helped me to stop myself from telling the doctors to “just take the baby away, I don’t want to see it” knee-jerk reaction that I had to see Olivia, cuddling, kissing, dressing, giving a name giving and blessing service. All these things have helped my husband and me to get to the stage that we are today, at ten weeks pregnant, and positive about this pregnancy, knowing that in the end, we will have a healthy baby and that our experience has made us realise that having a baby is not a God-given right, but a blessing.

Anyway, thanks for reading this. This is the first time I’ve written about it, and I feel so completely calm and proud of my little girl that, in her death, she gave me life and, hopefully, the ability to be the best mother I can be.

Thanks and regards, Samantha Richards

Revised on 7th December 2021

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